I Have Experienced Loss
Friday, January 6, 2017, started out to be such a nice day. I got to work a party at the bowling center and the people were so much fun. I came home feeling very happy and upbeat about the workday. But one phone call turned my very nice day into one of the worst days of my life. I was informed that my oldest brother had murdered his wife and then took his own life. I can’t even put into words how I felt receiving such tragic news, all I can remember is that I cried uncontrollably for quite a long while.
I have read online news articles about what had happened and it’s very difficult for me to associate my brother with stories of murder-suicide. I know my brother’s character and he is not a violet person. He loved and took care of his wife for almost 50 years. I have to believe that this was an act of compassion because I know that my brother was not an abusive husband.
I believe that tragedy forces a person to look inward at their own life, because it is an individual thing what a person does with what has happened. It has been ten days since my brother and his wife died, and I’m trying to figure out what to do with what I’ve been handed. Do I want to let my brother and his wife’s tragic ending live on through my life in a negative way, or do I want do try to do something positive with this tragedy?
Two of my three brothers have committed suicide; my youngest brother Jimmy in 1971 and now my oldest brother Paul in 2017. When my youngest brother committed suicide it tore our family apart. Not only did my parents lose their son, they never saw their grandson ever again; my brother Jimmy’s little boy. I’m grateful that my parents are not living now, because I can’t imagine what losing their oldest son, (and his wife of many years) in such a violent way would have done to them.
My thoughts this morning are focused on what I can do with what I’ve been given. At this point I have no answers for that question, but I do know that I want the memory of my brother, and my sister-in-law, to live on in a positive way through me; that’s what I know.
I have read online news articles about what had happened and it’s very difficult for me to associate my brother with stories of murder-suicide. I know my brother’s character and he is not a violet person. He loved and took care of his wife for almost 50 years. I have to believe that this was an act of compassion because I know that my brother was not an abusive husband.
I believe that tragedy forces a person to look inward at their own life, because it is an individual thing what a person does with what has happened. It has been ten days since my brother and his wife died, and I’m trying to figure out what to do with what I’ve been handed. Do I want to let my brother and his wife’s tragic ending live on through my life in a negative way, or do I want do try to do something positive with this tragedy?
Two of my three brothers have committed suicide; my youngest brother Jimmy in 1971 and now my oldest brother Paul in 2017. When my youngest brother committed suicide it tore our family apart. Not only did my parents lose their son, they never saw their grandson ever again; my brother Jimmy’s little boy. I’m grateful that my parents are not living now, because I can’t imagine what losing their oldest son, (and his wife of many years) in such a violent way would have done to them.
My thoughts this morning are focused on what I can do with what I’ve been given. At this point I have no answers for that question, but I do know that I want the memory of my brother, and my sister-in-law, to live on in a positive way through me; that’s what I know.
