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I Have Experienced Loss

I lost my beautiful sister, my only sibling in a horrific house fire. What is even worse, she had MS and was never left alone. I was late that day thus a small window of time and flame took everything, I mean every. Single. Thing. In her home in minutes. I’ve never forgiven myself nor come to terms with it. No cause ever found.
Worse, her oldest son, my Godchild, nephew and son passed in April 2018. Drug overdose. I had tried hard to look out for him. He'd already been thru so much trauma. I failed.

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morrgin · F

I'm sorry about your family. There are a few people I think I could have prevented their death if I had done something differently. I wish I had made sure my dad was ok before going to work. I wish i had told my friend back in 6th grade that yes i could go do something that day so he wouldnt have felt lonely and hung himself. I wish I had ignored my friend when he said not to call an ambulance and drive him instead. Life happens and the guilt gets easier to deal with over time. Eventually you forgive yourself for being human. We can't take back what happened in the past and we will make more decisions in the future that we wish were different. You did the best that you could at the time whatever happened and the people who have passed know that.

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robbie2499 · 61-69, F

@morrgin So senseless, right? The thing is, Michael, and I'm sure of this, was not very familiar with cocaine. Maybe hence the overdose? I don't know. His drug/drugs of choice have always been otc benydryl and otc cough medicine. These would put him in a whole other world. Not in a good way. He did enough cocaine to die. And that also scares me. He was very, very intelligent.

robbie2499 · 61-69, F

@Wol62 Thank my friend. It's always amazes me how "strangers" with their kind words can bring a tear from eye yet make me smile.

Wol62 · 51-55, M

@robbie2499 Anytime, we are here for you and I am so sorry for what you went through.

Peaches · F

I'm so sorry for your loss!😟💔 I have lost many too, but I feel I will see them again. My brother died from a drug overdose as well, it was heroine in his case. Please don't think you failed your Godchild...he KNOWS you love him and there was nothing you could do to stop him! Just like I tried to save my brother. I had a dream about him, he was smiling in that dream and I KNEW then he was okay now. 🙏🏼💕💙God bless you.😇

robbie2499 · 61-69, F

@Peaches Hi Peaches. Thank for you kind, heartfelt words. I am slowly rebuilding, or trying to, my current life and situation. I know my Godson Michael would never want for me to blame myself nor would my sister. It's slowly sinking in I do not have that type of power to determine life and death. Things happen. Accidents, disease etc. etc. beyond my, or any human beings control. In a strange twist of events in my saga, I was diagnosed 2 years ago with MS. Primary Progressive. The rarest and most disabling of the MS "family" as well as the type my sister had.

Peaches · F

@robbie2499 God Bless you, 🙏🏼✨💙healing prayers sent your way.😔

xixgun · M

Condolences.

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robbie2499 · 61-69, F

@sspec I am really trying. Thank you!

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