I Need Advice

Please! My bestie is accusing me of being an animal killer supporter. She stopped supporting me and making my life a living nightmare.

My best friend is currently not speaking to me because she thinks I’m supporting people that kill animals to make fashion coats. I wanted to join the fashion show. She was excited for me until she looked at the fur coats. She suggested I shouldn’t sign up. I didn’t wanna miss a chance to be on the fashion show so I did with the permission from my dad. My beat friend went ballistic! She screamed, “Layla (me) HOW COULD YOU?!!” I apologized but I couldn’t miss out and it wasn’t her place to tell me what to do. She yelled at me that that is cruelty to animals and I shouldn’t do the show. I asked her to stop yelling at me but she said, “Well I’m going to because you chose to do the show and you didn’t even think about MY FEELINGS!!!!!!! WHY?!” She’s a vegetarian and been one for two years. She’s annoying. We got into a HUGE fight and she screamed, “I can’t support you! I DONT WANNA BE FRIENDS WITH SOMEONE THAT SUPPORTS ANIMAL CRUELTY!!!! That is WRONG!!!!!!!!!” She stormed of and started crying. It’s been a while and she still won’t talk to me. The fashion thing got cancelled due to COVID 19. She hasn’t spoken to me since April. She won’t text or call me back. What is her deal? I am not cruel to animals. Why is my friend acting like this?

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Reigns · 31-35, M

I don't think you did anything wrong. Maybe figure out what kind of fur they are using...could be fake because it's a really big issue if it's real fur. Still, you weren't going to participate to hurt your friend. You were just doing something that you liked. I think she was shocked by the idea that her best bud is going to do something that's completely against her principles. Just give her time, I am sure she'll come around.

AutismGirl18 · 18-21, F

@Reigns No she won’t. She hasn’t spoken to me since April. I tried to talk to her but she refused to acknowledge me. She screamed that she doesn’t wanna be best friends with an animal killer supporter.

JBird · F

@AutismGirl18 I think it's best you lost a friend who doesn't trust you and act immaturely

Mamapolo2016 · F

I read the whole thing and first, I'm surprised that anyone is still having fashion shows with real furs involved.

This really isn't about the fashion show. It's about friendship. My daughter would be very upset if I had anything to do with killing animals for their fur and so I wouldn't do it.

If the show is important to you, then you're going to have to decide between it and your best friend.

It's your call.

AutismGirl18 · 18-21, F

@Mamapolo2016 If she was a REAL friend, she would support me but NOT, she decided to stop supporting me about the fashionable fur coats and stopped talking to me! She screamed that I didn’t even considered HER feelings. My other best friend told me I should at least see her point of view. Why should I? My dad told me I didn’t tell him about the fur part and I should not do it bi it’s my choice. My best friend is being a brat. It’s MY choice and she needs to be a friend!

Mamapolo2016 · F

@AutismGirl18 Could be she's thinking the same way.

Mamapolo2016 · F

@AutismGirl18 It IS your choice. But not killing animals is important enough to her that she hasn't eaten meat for two years.

You have to decide if she (and your dad) are wrong about the morality of being in the show and if a couple of hours of a fashion show is worth ditching the friendship.

JBird · F

Whether or not fashion show have fur coat display, that's another thing but only a crazy and dumb person will ruin a friendship over that. She could have said no and just let you watch the show instead of calling you names. Her reasons are right, people shouldn't harm animals for entertainment but she shouldn't waste her anger on you, her friend, rather on the people who allowed the fur coat display. She should know that you weren't for the fur coat and that you didn't have any idea about it.

Unfortunately she's not the only one with immature attitude. I told a vegan that vegan sausage is an oxymoron as a joke and she took it so personally, she stalked me online and threatened to kill me. Another vegetarian vowed to kill me because I eat meat. There are a lot of vegetarians and vegans on SW who shame and verbally attack meat eaters.

Their behaviour is why people find vegetarians and vegans annoying and taken as a joke.

You should be happy that you just lost a shitty friend.

Reigns · 31-35, M

@JBird ...holy hell. Threatened to kill you because you eat meat..the irony...wtf.. >.> I'm actually eating chicken right now. Don't tell them lol

midnightrose · F

I think those closest to us assume if they feel a certain way about something we will feel that way too. When we don't, it changes how they view us.

Was the fur real fur? If was real and you would have worn the fur, you would have been indirectly supporting it. It's support by not doing anything to actively be against it. She probably doesn't just want you to be nice to animals yourself but to speak out against all harm, whoever does it.

Of course, if you're still a meat eater you clearly think animals have a purpose for humans so your friend will have decide if she can be friends with somebody who doesn't think using animals for human needs is always bad.

AnonymousJSS · 22-25, F

Damn

AutismGirl18 · 18-21, F

@AnonymousJSS did you even read the whole thing?

AnonymousJSS · 22-25, F

@AutismGirl18 No

Keraunos · 36-40, M

Sucks that someone like that ended up being your best friend. Hopefully you find ones that are more interested in you than their ideology someday.

assemblingaknob · 26-30, F

She's right.

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assemblingaknob · 26-30, F

@AutismGirl18 Not about you being an animal killer. But you're supporting one.
How would your dad like if someone killed and then skinned you for a fancy coat to be displayed in a flamboyant modeling show?
Real animal fur coats are so unnecessary to the point that they're pathetic and disgusting.
I understand you're a teenager so it's okay to ask questions and be curious.
You would like to read up on how the ecosystem stays in balance by animal populations and how it would be disrupted by unnatural, unnecessary interventions, and the effects on HUMANS of the disruption. Then you'll understand her outrage.

AutismGirl18 · 18-21, F

@assemblingaknob That sounds awful but she is hurting me that she doesn’t support me. She said, “There’s no law saying I HAVE to support you! Imagine how those poor animals feel and you don’t even care!” My other friend said I should see her point of view. Wow so he’s taking HER SIDE?!

assemblingaknob · 26-30, F

@AutismGirl18 it's not about sides. It's about our world that is causing many species to go extinct just for the sake of luxury. Elephants killed for tusks... Rhinos killed for their horn... Foxes for their fur... Where I live foxes are dying fast. Yes they should have chosen a calmer mode of conveying their perspective to you but they're teenagers as well and I understand emotional regulation comes with learning from experiences.
But she's a real friend to be THIS transparent and honest with you.
Again, it's not about you or her. It's about our world that we're constantly destroying by supporting such fashion projects.

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