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I Need Advice

I recently went to a 3 day camping music festival with a friend who lives out of town. We were having a great time in the first day, hanging out all day together, catching great music, etc. Then the second day we were hanging out at our campsite and he told me he wanted to go find a friend of his that was camped at another site. I said, “Ok I’ll go with you”, since nobody else in our group was currently at our site and I didn’t want to just sit around by myself. So we’re both walking for about 2 minutes when he stops and says, “I’m actually gonna just walk around by myself, so I’ll catch you later.” And then he took off. I was a little caught off guard by this and didn’t know how to react, so I kept on walking by myself. I attempted to find my other friends who were there to see what they were up to but after an hour of looking I wasn’t able to find them so I turned around and went back to our campsite. When I returned my friend was sitting at the camp with his friend that he originally said he was going to look for and he said l, “Oh there you are. Where’d you go?” and then asked me if I wanted a beer, as if nothing happened. I declined and just walked away to make a second attempt at finding my other friends because I felt sort of awkward being around him after he more or less told me to go away. Since then things have returned to normal, we’re actually messaging each other back and forth every day planning another trip together in the fall. I just can’t get that moment out of my head though. Why did he tell me he wanted to go walk by himself and then walk away from me with no explanation like that? It made me feel like he was sick of me and didn’t want me around. It’s bothering me enough that I’m having second thoughts about going on this upcoming trip we’re planning. What should I do? Should I go as planned and forget that small moment? Should I ask him about it? Should I cancel our future plans if this is bothering me? I’m open to any advice here. Thanks.
updown2020 · 61-69, M
Well why not just ask him.
@updown2020 the most appropriate advice.👍
There's a MUTITUDE of reasons to why he asked to go ahead alone. And even if you ask, he may not want to divulge.
But it's worth a try if this is going to be haunting you, Otherwise, - the tension from doubt will mar every interaction, decision and observation of him from now on.

Or... You could try and accept that people need personal space sometimes.
I myself love being with friends, but not continually.
I could imagine if I had been there, I would have liked to go take a walk by myself and go check out the whole festival. I need a break every now and then to just centre myself.
Everyone is different.

And let's say that the reason IS actually your fear that he doesnt feel a strong kinship with you....then take this opportunity to try branching out a little more, and expand your friendship base.

If the fear of losing his frindship creates anxiety and fear within you, then you should ask yourself why.
I'm just guessing here - but if he's the main one, or only one you call on to do stuff with - you have put alot of emotional investment in one person.

Like ' all of your eggs in one basket'.

Try spreading your friendship between a few more people.
This then gives you more options, and allows hiccups like these to happen, without creating concern.
MattyB0621 · M
@BoobooSnafu Thanks for the response. You’re 100% right, that’s all he was doing. I think it was just the way he went about it, by not just telling me that to begin with, that made me feel weird about it. I have since realized that I have low self esteem due to how certain people have treated me in the past and it makes me overthink things sometimes.
@MattyB0621 that's freakin brilliant!

Well, NOT that you have low self esteem,( thats a tough one to deal with), But the fact youve worked it out.

THAT, in itself is an accomplishment.

One thing I learnt from dealing with autism, fears, any sort of thing that 'stops you '... Is - use this moment/challenge/fear/difficulty/failure, as an opportunity.

Sure - you might fuck it up 😏... But its already in the red zone... Fucking it up even more ain't gonna be a disaster🤷‍♀️😁.

Sorta like, you're already been rained on - yoy might as well dive in and try to swim. 😜

What do they say?... The only failure is NOT trying.

And you know something about yourself too.
The first step to changing or improving something - is accepting it.
And like you've just done - be able to talk about it - without issue.
And you've mastered that.
Next will be setting yourself goals, trying suggestions from others - and finding what fits you.
Goodluck Dude! 👍
Picklebobble2 · 56-60, M
Ok. I agree odd behaviour from a 'friend'.
Given that you were at a festival. Any chance your friend might have been looking for something 'recreational' from this 'friend' ? If you get my drift ?
And maybe he was a bit spooked not knowing how you might react if you saw him after this stuff ?
MattyB0621 · M
I’m actually very ok with drugs, Me and him party together a lot when we hang out lol @Picklebobble2

 
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