I Have Bad Luck
If you’re lucky enough you’ll find someone who cares about you who loves you for who you are .. that some one could be your father your mother your best friend your lover ... dosent matter cause that someone cares, you have a shoulder to cry one someone you could talk to , cry to, hug for hours, feel safe around.. cause you know how bad things are he’s here, he cares ,he listen and wont walk away .
I ve always wondered how that would feel s like , cause i dont have that and i wont have that .. its a fact it’s just some time i convince myself otherwise and then i found myself drowning in new imagination, about how things could be better , how things gonna be better and finally it’s time for me to be wanted ,to ne heard not ignore all the time , cause every time i found myself talking alone or someone shuts me down , even if i act like i dont care , i feel it in my bones but i cant force myself on people, i mean i cant be like ‘ hey you should be my friend you should hear me put you should care about me , surprise me, be there for me ‘ .
At this part of my life i dont know what hearts more the fact that i dont feel that i loved or the fact that i always keep saying it s just a bad day you’ll be happy and loved one day cause everyone does but not everyone has ... i dont know what i did wrong in my life that got me in this point but i only wish that i can start over with new body new name new family , friends , spirit , country ... fresh start maybe thing will be better but deep down i know that i wont be happy cause thats how life works some people have it all other have half and some have nothing .
I ve always wondered how that would feel s like , cause i dont have that and i wont have that .. its a fact it’s just some time i convince myself otherwise and then i found myself drowning in new imagination, about how things could be better , how things gonna be better and finally it’s time for me to be wanted ,to ne heard not ignore all the time , cause every time i found myself talking alone or someone shuts me down , even if i act like i dont care , i feel it in my bones but i cant force myself on people, i mean i cant be like ‘ hey you should be my friend you should hear me put you should care about me , surprise me, be there for me ‘ .
At this part of my life i dont know what hearts more the fact that i dont feel that i loved or the fact that i always keep saying it s just a bad day you’ll be happy and loved one day cause everyone does but not everyone has ... i dont know what i did wrong in my life that got me in this point but i only wish that i can start over with new body new name new family , friends , spirit , country ... fresh start maybe thing will be better but deep down i know that i wont be happy cause thats how life works some people have it all other have half and some have nothing .
