I Want To Live A Simple Life

I really don't think such a thing is possible with my mind. Or with this world. Everyone is always saying life is precious, its a gift you should be happy that your a live and healthy but you can't see the thoughts that are eating away at my mind. If life really was a gift I wish I could return it, destroy it, it more of a burden to me. Just think of all the things I have to do just to live/exist it brings me intense existential turmoil.
But I just try to remember that everything ends. Everything will end eventually but then waiting for things to end does me no good either.