I Remember My First Love
The thrill of that first love….that first step.
Some things I don’t remember at all, like for how long I had a crush on her until that day. I know that we weren’t really friends or anything like that, she was just a girl in my class. But I remember that day, that moment where I decided that I was going to tell her how I felt. I had never done that before and really had no idea how to do it or what to say. I couldn’t see anything else in the classroom, only her The afternoon sun shining through the window and reflecting off her golden curls straight into my eyes burning my soul and wreaking havoc on my teenage hormones. At one point she turned around to talk to her friend and she smiled….that was the end of me.
I gave up on any shred of being macho and ripped a sheet of paper from my pad in half and wrote “Simona I like you. Do you like me? Please don’t tell anyone”. I then asked my teacher to go to bathroom, as I walked out of the classroom I turned left where each of us had a hanger with our name to put our coats, I found hers and put it strategically in her pocket where it would stick out just a little bit and went back to class. As soon as the bell rung for the day I ran away from school. I lived pretty close and always walked home. This day I ran all the way home, at first because I didn’t want to be there when she read my note but then just because I was euphoric, I had never felt that. When I got home I knew It would be about an hour until my mom came home so I blasted “I just can’t stop loving you” from my mom’s Michael Jackson’s Bad album (repeat on vinyl is a bit more complicated). Though I was scared of the humiliation I might suffer the next day it was nothing compared to the euphoria I felt, I was so happy it was unbelievable. Few moments have surpassed that afternoon, I still smile every time I hear that song.
Some things I don’t remember at all, like for how long I had a crush on her until that day. I know that we weren’t really friends or anything like that, she was just a girl in my class. But I remember that day, that moment where I decided that I was going to tell her how I felt. I had never done that before and really had no idea how to do it or what to say. I couldn’t see anything else in the classroom, only her The afternoon sun shining through the window and reflecting off her golden curls straight into my eyes burning my soul and wreaking havoc on my teenage hormones. At one point she turned around to talk to her friend and she smiled….that was the end of me.
I gave up on any shred of being macho and ripped a sheet of paper from my pad in half and wrote “Simona I like you. Do you like me? Please don’t tell anyone”. I then asked my teacher to go to bathroom, as I walked out of the classroom I turned left where each of us had a hanger with our name to put our coats, I found hers and put it strategically in her pocket where it would stick out just a little bit and went back to class. As soon as the bell rung for the day I ran away from school. I lived pretty close and always walked home. This day I ran all the way home, at first because I didn’t want to be there when she read my note but then just because I was euphoric, I had never felt that. When I got home I knew It would be about an hour until my mom came home so I blasted “I just can’t stop loving you” from my mom’s Michael Jackson’s Bad album (repeat on vinyl is a bit more complicated). Though I was scared of the humiliation I might suffer the next day it was nothing compared to the euphoria I felt, I was so happy it was unbelievable. Few moments have surpassed that afternoon, I still smile every time I hear that song.
41-45, M
