I've Lost Somebody Close To Me
Where did my life go? And where is it going? I had a plan. We had one! And you just disappeared. Left me in the cold....
It's called an ambiguous loss. That's what they call it. When it feels like someone died but they're still physically here. You go through similar emotions except you still see them breathing and walking around so it's hard to accept that the person you loved is no longer here.
Well it feels like you died. It felt like that when you first lost your memory, and it never passed. I'm still mourning you.
Because this has been impossible to accept when there's still a possibility that you could one day remember. And I fooled myself into thinking that maybe I could get you back, that you could somehow ease back into the person that you were with out remembering, but that was just a dream. The truth is that our past experiences shape us into the people that we are. You will never be the man I fell in love with again unless you remember.
And maybe I could learn to love this version of you but I can't help but feel like theirs an alien inside your body! An imposter and I feel an unwanted, uncharacteristic bitterness toward him. Even when we were trying to work things out he referred to you and himself as two separate people. So it's not just me. It's all very confusing.
And though I've accepted that he is not you, it's still very painful to see him in your body, the body of a man once devoted to me, moving on with another. We were suppose to be planning our wedding right now but instead he/you are engaged to another. I can't help but think that if you ever do come around you'll be horrified by what you find!
.......
Sorry. Had to vent.
It's called an ambiguous loss. That's what they call it. When it feels like someone died but they're still physically here. You go through similar emotions except you still see them breathing and walking around so it's hard to accept that the person you loved is no longer here.
Well it feels like you died. It felt like that when you first lost your memory, and it never passed. I'm still mourning you.
Because this has been impossible to accept when there's still a possibility that you could one day remember. And I fooled myself into thinking that maybe I could get you back, that you could somehow ease back into the person that you were with out remembering, but that was just a dream. The truth is that our past experiences shape us into the people that we are. You will never be the man I fell in love with again unless you remember.
And maybe I could learn to love this version of you but I can't help but feel like theirs an alien inside your body! An imposter and I feel an unwanted, uncharacteristic bitterness toward him. Even when we were trying to work things out he referred to you and himself as two separate people. So it's not just me. It's all very confusing.
And though I've accepted that he is not you, it's still very painful to see him in your body, the body of a man once devoted to me, moving on with another. We were suppose to be planning our wedding right now but instead he/you are engaged to another. I can't help but think that if you ever do come around you'll be horrified by what you find!
.......
Sorry. Had to vent.
26-30, F
