I Am Not Close With My Father
More like, I am having some issues with him, which I'm sure can be resolved. But that is something to do over summer.
I love my father. I really do. But I don't really like him at the moment. I just realised today that I have developed a fear of receiving phone calls because of him. I looked it up and it's a real anxiety problem, called "telephone phobia". As I went through the symptoms and reasons for such a phobia, it felt as if they were my words materialised.
How weird is that? I have gone through almost 21 years of my life without any major phobia problems and then I develop one over a couple of years?
I already had issues with him before this realisation set in. Now I don't know how I am going to forgive him and work towards a smoother relationship. I'm pretty sure that I have wronged him to over the years. I know for sure that there have been times he has been hurt because of me. But I just can't seem to forget and forgive all that he's done or not done for me.
To sum up our relationship in one sentence, I'd say: He doesn't meet my expectations, and I don't meet his.
And that is how we go on.
I love my father. I really do. But I don't really like him at the moment. I just realised today that I have developed a fear of receiving phone calls because of him. I looked it up and it's a real anxiety problem, called "telephone phobia". As I went through the symptoms and reasons for such a phobia, it felt as if they were my words materialised.
How weird is that? I have gone through almost 21 years of my life without any major phobia problems and then I develop one over a couple of years?
I already had issues with him before this realisation set in. Now I don't know how I am going to forgive him and work towards a smoother relationship. I'm pretty sure that I have wronged him to over the years. I know for sure that there have been times he has been hurt because of me. But I just can't seem to forget and forgive all that he's done or not done for me.
To sum up our relationship in one sentence, I'd say: He doesn't meet my expectations, and I don't meet his.
And that is how we go on.
26-30, F
