So this is hard

I understand (but dont condone) why some move on before separation. Besides my crush, I havent really thought of anyone else during my marriage. Now that we are separated I cant help but think, people must move on before leaving because its actually hard to imagine a new life. Its what you know. I dont move on fast. I look around and see a life I built with my narc ex.
He is trying anything and everything to piss me off right now.
Life would be easier if I just started dating someone else. I just know its not what I need, but its so hard to picture loving someone as much as that. Im also afraid to be hurt again. And I dont want him back because all he ever did was hurt me and disrespect me. Its definitely harder alone. I know he isnt the right one though