I Am Newly Separated

I'M New To All This...... In my other entries, I told you about how I had suspected something going on for the past year or so. In February I started digging into her phone and found a slough of infidelity and deception detailed in other postings. I think I'm doing ok. And then I see my kids. And then I turn into a miserable mess. This past weekend they spent Friday and Saturday night with me. It's kinda rough because I see my my older daughter's ADD. I tell her stuff over and over again until it sticks. She has all kinds of mood swings, from feeling like she's happy to be here with me to never wanting to come back again. The other one sees something she has no clue what it is and moves it somewhere else. This weekend really wore me out. When I took them back my 18 year old ex-step daughter was over there and she just let me in and ignored me. She's pretty pissed at me for thinking I caused all this. I can't blame her for feeling like she does. But there's a side to all of this I can't tell her because... I just can't because my attorney already advised me not to. I hung around for just long enough drop off the babies and their stuff and to kiss them goodbye. I felt like if I tried to talk then they would simply just gang up on me. According to "The Art Of War" by Sun Tsu, you don't fight battles you can't win. No way in hell I could win that one if they both started ganging up on me. So I left asap.

Now the kids are back with their mom, I'm back here without them. They can drive me nuts at times, but I miss them so badly now that they're gone. Not being able to see my kids breaks my heart. And I still want her body. That's what makes it hard. What makes it even worse is when she thought things could go on with her treating me like she did and me having to stand by and watch her reap the fruits of sowing poor decisions.