I Cant Change the Past But I Can Change My Future

Parents in the sixties from my perspective didn't know HOW to parent properly. They only knew what they knew. They from Texas, where men are men is the attitude. I'm the only girl, the baby, and the one they had in the SF bay area, nothing in common with their own upbringing. They were hecka conservative, and I'm a free thinking hippie anarchist. lol
Anyway, I endured mental, verbal and emotional cruelty. Not many spankings. The scars inside last longer though. I could never please the parents, and my two brothers had each other like my parents did, so I was alone basically. Plus being the only girl, I wasn't allowed to bring friends over, go out and be back by dark was a thing I didn't really have.
Spoiling the kids was supposed to assume the role of compensation for parenting mistakes, if they admit to any. So my cousins thought I was living the good life. My dad was the only one in his family to NOT raise kids on welfare and he worked his ass off since he dropped out of school at around the age of 10. No dad meant he was responsible to help bring some income, so he worked his way into middle class living. The American dream. He gave that to us, but at a cost, ya know?

< is traumatized from various types of abuse growing up. I'm still healing and growing. It's a bitch to face fears and accept change. ugh.

i am reminded of my past every day but if you can deal with it and not let it make you bitter then you should be proud of your self

I am proud of myself so far. Never been to jail, never got hooked on drugs, and live as clean as I can. If only I can kick sugar and junk food.

horrific ways, oh no, what happend,