I Have Issues With My Family
Family used to be something that I was really proud of. Years ago, I would think of them as my heroes—the people that I should look up to.
But then, something happens, hurtful words are said, feeling of guilt crushes you down to the ground where you think you deserve to be, and every bit of good vibes that you have with that family member just vanishes. Laughing with that person or having a conversation with him seemed to be so hard and awkward that some people might not even think that you are related to each other.
Broken hearts just don’t seem to heal pretty well when it is your family that’s causing it. Every word will hurt like hell deep into your bones—physically and emotionally. It doesn’t stop hurting no matter how many times you try patching it. It just keep on getting worse as time gets by.
I guess it’s because of unresolved anger and hurt feelings. They just piles up higher and higher up to the point that you don’t even know where those hurt feelings came from. All you are reminded of is the pain which makes no sense at all because you can’t remember what caused it. As you go on with your life, you’d be surprised that you’ve been bearing that heavy feeling in your heart all your life because of one simple jealousy—that your brother or sister got what was supposed to be yours.
As of the moment, I have been telling myself to let go and just be happy and satisfied with what God has given me. This is what he wanted me to have. This is what is meant to be mine. This is what I should be spending my resources and my time on. I should learn how to not mind other people’s business. Stop putting other people’s future in my thoughts as if it would affect mine so severely. I must learn how to accept that I love these people. They are my family and no matter how high and unreachable they put themselves in, they’re still my family.
But then, something happens, hurtful words are said, feeling of guilt crushes you down to the ground where you think you deserve to be, and every bit of good vibes that you have with that family member just vanishes. Laughing with that person or having a conversation with him seemed to be so hard and awkward that some people might not even think that you are related to each other.
Broken hearts just don’t seem to heal pretty well when it is your family that’s causing it. Every word will hurt like hell deep into your bones—physically and emotionally. It doesn’t stop hurting no matter how many times you try patching it. It just keep on getting worse as time gets by.
I guess it’s because of unresolved anger and hurt feelings. They just piles up higher and higher up to the point that you don’t even know where those hurt feelings came from. All you are reminded of is the pain which makes no sense at all because you can’t remember what caused it. As you go on with your life, you’d be surprised that you’ve been bearing that heavy feeling in your heart all your life because of one simple jealousy—that your brother or sister got what was supposed to be yours.
As of the moment, I have been telling myself to let go and just be happy and satisfied with what God has given me. This is what he wanted me to have. This is what is meant to be mine. This is what I should be spending my resources and my time on. I should learn how to not mind other people’s business. Stop putting other people’s future in my thoughts as if it would affect mine so severely. I must learn how to accept that I love these people. They are my family and no matter how high and unreachable they put themselves in, they’re still my family.
