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Was it bad that I was trying to get ride of my dads girlfriend in the past?

I have. Since my late mother abandoned my dad and I back in 2010 when I was seven in a half, I cried and threw a fit because I wanted mom to come back but she never did. I’ve always waited by the window every night for her to come back but my dad flat out told me she wasn’t coming back. I got upset and screamed that she is but she never came back. It was always my dad a night for a couple years until he start dating again. I have known his girlfriend since I was 12 or 13 and I hate it so much. I remember I know he’s been talking to her a lot. He warned me that she was going to be around and I was going to see a lot of her and get ready for some changes. I know that she’s been coming around for a while and I didn’t like that. I tried to get rid of her so many times with my dad called me out and I didn’t stop her from coming. He’s punished me for my rude behavior and sent me to my room. Then he came in and have a talk with me and what it was I been nasty to her and I told him that I didn’t want her around anymore and I feel like she was replacing my mom. He told me straight up that he and mom isn’t getting back together with her and she broke her hurt by leaving us. That didn’t make me happy. I was hoping he would give them another chance. He told me that I don’t have to like his girlfriend but I need to respect her and stop giving her a hard time. Later on she even called me out for my horrible behavior around her and told me off. I yelled at her that she wasn’t my mom and she doesn’t get to talk to me like that but my dad went off on me I sent me to my room. He told me to get the hell out of here with my ugly behavior and that’s no way to act around people I need to show respect. Then he told me that I’m gonna have to get used to it because she and her family are going to be around for a long time. I’ve gotten used to it for a little while and I gave up trying to get rid of her. I wanted my dad to break up with her. They’ve broken up so many times but they keep getting back together. My dad says he can’t let her go he he loves her too much. They’ve been together for six years almost seven. I do respect her now but I hate when dad brings her over or she comes by. Change is very difficult for me and he knows that. I hate it I always hated when they came over and my dad doesn’t tell me. I like that he considered my feelings first and I’m always the first to him but he told me that he has a wife of his own he’s allowed to date whoever he wants and it’s not more choice. She treats me like I’m one of her kids and always have talks with me every time she comes over. She talks to my older brother and sisters where she talks to me the most. I don’t know if it’s because I’m autistic. She has a kind heart woman and family oriented but she has a big mouth and is blunt at times. Sorry that was long but I had to vent.
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Outsider98 · 36-40, M
Autism has it's way that makes us feel
left out.

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