The hardest thing about saying, “No” is that no one wants to feel like a bad person.
If I say no, then no one will be there for me when I need help.
If I say no, then I will bear a greater burden by myself.
If I say no everyone will think that _____________.
If I say no they will hate me and wish me the worst.
If I say no then that means I’m not a loving person.
If I say no, then I’ll be on my own. I’m scared without the feeling of protection from a group.
I think a lot of times we want to suppress what is true in our lives. Thanks to our five senses we will always gravitate towards whatever brings our senses pleasure. We train ourselves to put up with what doesn’t bring our senses pleasure through religious belief, an incentive, fear of an even more painful situation, and common courtesy. Yet in our daily lives it it obvious that when someone doesn’t do or say what we would like or find respectful for someone to say, we don’t like it, we may not show it, but inside we feel uncomfortable. The same thing goes when something/someone doesn’t smell to our satisfaction, or when something doesn’t taste good to our preference. When we feel grasped too hard, when we are physically hurt, we obviously experience pain, when we see or hear what we don’t like, the same thing happens. We don’t just like everything. We don’t endure the questions of a small child over and over, without the secret desire of wishing we were doing what we actually wish we were doing. Our family member could have their radio station on, and you don’t want to argue, but you wish your station was on. We don’t appreciate the attention given to us, unless we get the attention from those we WANT attention from.
Everyone has different tolerance levels. Everyone has different things they are willing to put up with. What are you willing to say no to in order to say yes to yourself? How do you deal with the guilt others will try to impose on you for not doing things as they prefer?
I think being honest with how we really feel is a big thing. Then how we say things is another. And then you go your own way with how you want to live your life given the situation you are in. Have you invested of your time and energy in one situation and now you are ready to move on and impact another? Are there other lives you want to reach but in the situation you are now you are stuck? Remember everyone will always want more and more from you... so be you and reasonably go the route you feel will make the change you wish you saw out there. No insults. No wishing bad unto others, but honoring the honest expression of the picture you want to draw with your life.
