Theres a new guy who started work and hes already really popular because hes really good looking, a hard worker, has an infectious laugh and has a winning smile. Seriously, Im not gay or anything but when this guy smiles its like the clouds suddenly part and the sun shines and everyone suddenly becomes really happy. Also hes really tall and has a good physique.
Anyway, hes also mixed race and one of the races hes from is some Native American tribe (I can't remember which tribe but I think that it begins with 'S'). Because of this, he knows how to do the whole Shamanic trance thing and during break times, he gets us all to sit on the ground around him as he chants and dances and goes into the Spirit World and its pretty fun.
The reason he does this is because he wants to help us find out what our Spirit Animals are and so far, hes been really good at it. For example, it turns out my friend Daves Spirit Animal is a cheetah which makes sense because Daves a really fast runner.
The thing is, it turns out that everyone at works Spirit Animal just happens to be a lion or a puma or a tiger or a lynx or some sort of cat animal. Except me. I didnt know this untill last Thursday but my Spirit Animal is a gerbil.
Obviously when I found out about this I wasnt too happy about it but if Im honest, it does kind of make sense because often at work I get really stoned and then just find somewhere I can hide and then have a nap until its time to get something to eat which is what gerbils do.
Even though Im not exactly happy about being a gerbil I have come to terms with it except the new Shaman guy has just started a gang for people who's Spirit Animal is a cat animal. Obviously as a gerbil Im not allowed to be a member. During work, everyones treats me OK but at a break times, Im not allowed to sit at the same table as eveyone else because Im the only person there who's not a cat and the Shaman guy won't even talk to me anymore.
Im starting to feel a tiny bit excluded so I was wondering, if I go to a faith healer or a gypsy will they be able to change my Spirit Animal into a cat? Ideally, Id just go to a Native American Shaman and get cured but the thing is, I live in Cornwall so its unlikely Im going to be able to meet anymore Native American Shamans and my passport has just expired so I cant get on a plane and go to the USA.