I Am Told That I Am Very Smart, I Dont Agree
Hello, although this is not the perfect group to post this under, I could not find a more fitting group unfortunately...
I have done an official online IQ test (no, it wasn't free) and it gave me an IQ range of 113 to 119, so say 116 for ease of conversation (although I would love the 119 option hehe.) The reason for the range is the fact that it took into account things like fatigue, distractions, etc. and because it was only 44 questions short.
Although the score itself is nothing to scoff at, it does bother me... At times I feel like I'm just not smart at all, yet at other times I feel like my IQ is more in the range of 121 or something...
I suppose it has to do with the fact that an IQ test, especially a more simple one, simply only tests your acadamic skills like linguistics, mathematical skills, logic skills, etc. but do not test the parts my brain excels at.
You see, my brain has this amazing visual memory, I can remember things I see (and hear quite a few times as well) with extreme clarity. I guess you could compare it with 'photographic memory' although I tend to disagree since that hasn't been scientifically proven (yet.) My regular memory is quite amazing as well, although I do tend to forget the simple things from time to time haha.
It's quite a shame really... an IQ of 116 isn't spectacular, and as such, people will underestimate my intelligence because my brain happens to be adept at handling visual, social and memory skills best, yet those skills aren't exactly the focus of such tests (or society for that matter.)
In a way, being in this range is kind of a curse: I am smart enough to realise how stupid I really am. Yet at times I get a glimpse of what it's like to be smart, simply because my brain can process and handle a lot of visual stimuli at the same time, at least much faster than 'others of my kind'.
This often makes me wonder if I'll be smart enough for university or even college. The fact that I'm wondering about this is not just because of what I described in this story. No, it goes much deeper than that, which I will explain in a minute if you're still interested.
You see, I had a brain herphormage and that caused a part of my brain to die off (this could actually explain my immense visual capacity due to the need for different connections and routes) and I often wonder how my brain would function if I could still use 100% of it. However, what troubles me the most is that I've been underestimated and thus suppressed all my life... Due to the herphormage I had to go to a school for handicapped people, even though I never belonged there. As a result I've had an education that is way below my capabilities, resulting in me having a lower amount of knowledge in a broad way so to speak. Not to mention the fact that I have yet another stamp by having been forced to have such a low education level... Due to the fact that nobody believed in my capabilities and because my life hasn't exactly been that stimulating due to my upbringing and the people I had to interact with, I used to believe I could not amount to anything.
That is, until I met a certain someone who helped me see my true worth. She saw my potential and what I could do. For the first time in my entire life someone actually saw what I was capable of! That felt incredible and allowed me to see my worth too.
That was a year ago...
In that year I have accomplished so much! I've lost a huge amount of weight (65 kg of 80 kg,) relearned to ride a bike (I lost that ability due to the brain herphormage) and just recently applied for college, yet I have my doubts. I do not doubt my brain power since my IQ is still at least 8 points above college average where I come from, but I fear my lack of knowledge and stimulation might give me trouble in the long run.
As such we come back to the curse. I know I am smarter than I think (and perhaps smarter than tests show) yet I also know how stupid I am, especially compared to a lot of people. If it's not with raw intelligence, it's with my lack of knowledge. I am incredibly lucky to be a fast learner since I remember practically everything I see and hear, yet it can also take a while if it just doesn't 'click' so to speak.
Truly, it's a duality; I am neither stupid nor smart, yet too smart for most things and too stupid for other things. I have the qualities and capabilities to go far in life, yet I am not intelligent and knowledgeable enough to handle higher education. At least, it most certainly feels that way...
Duality, that's the best way to describe an IQ range of 113 to 119 I suppose. It doesn't feel special, yet it doesn't feel like it's nothing either.
I have done an official online IQ test (no, it wasn't free) and it gave me an IQ range of 113 to 119, so say 116 for ease of conversation (although I would love the 119 option hehe.) The reason for the range is the fact that it took into account things like fatigue, distractions, etc. and because it was only 44 questions short.
Although the score itself is nothing to scoff at, it does bother me... At times I feel like I'm just not smart at all, yet at other times I feel like my IQ is more in the range of 121 or something...
I suppose it has to do with the fact that an IQ test, especially a more simple one, simply only tests your acadamic skills like linguistics, mathematical skills, logic skills, etc. but do not test the parts my brain excels at.
You see, my brain has this amazing visual memory, I can remember things I see (and hear quite a few times as well) with extreme clarity. I guess you could compare it with 'photographic memory' although I tend to disagree since that hasn't been scientifically proven (yet.) My regular memory is quite amazing as well, although I do tend to forget the simple things from time to time haha.
It's quite a shame really... an IQ of 116 isn't spectacular, and as such, people will underestimate my intelligence because my brain happens to be adept at handling visual, social and memory skills best, yet those skills aren't exactly the focus of such tests (or society for that matter.)
In a way, being in this range is kind of a curse: I am smart enough to realise how stupid I really am. Yet at times I get a glimpse of what it's like to be smart, simply because my brain can process and handle a lot of visual stimuli at the same time, at least much faster than 'others of my kind'.
This often makes me wonder if I'll be smart enough for university or even college. The fact that I'm wondering about this is not just because of what I described in this story. No, it goes much deeper than that, which I will explain in a minute if you're still interested.
You see, I had a brain herphormage and that caused a part of my brain to die off (this could actually explain my immense visual capacity due to the need for different connections and routes) and I often wonder how my brain would function if I could still use 100% of it. However, what troubles me the most is that I've been underestimated and thus suppressed all my life... Due to the herphormage I had to go to a school for handicapped people, even though I never belonged there. As a result I've had an education that is way below my capabilities, resulting in me having a lower amount of knowledge in a broad way so to speak. Not to mention the fact that I have yet another stamp by having been forced to have such a low education level... Due to the fact that nobody believed in my capabilities and because my life hasn't exactly been that stimulating due to my upbringing and the people I had to interact with, I used to believe I could not amount to anything.
That is, until I met a certain someone who helped me see my true worth. She saw my potential and what I could do. For the first time in my entire life someone actually saw what I was capable of! That felt incredible and allowed me to see my worth too.
That was a year ago...
In that year I have accomplished so much! I've lost a huge amount of weight (65 kg of 80 kg,) relearned to ride a bike (I lost that ability due to the brain herphormage) and just recently applied for college, yet I have my doubts. I do not doubt my brain power since my IQ is still at least 8 points above college average where I come from, but I fear my lack of knowledge and stimulation might give me trouble in the long run.
As such we come back to the curse. I know I am smarter than I think (and perhaps smarter than tests show) yet I also know how stupid I am, especially compared to a lot of people. If it's not with raw intelligence, it's with my lack of knowledge. I am incredibly lucky to be a fast learner since I remember practically everything I see and hear, yet it can also take a while if it just doesn't 'click' so to speak.
Truly, it's a duality; I am neither stupid nor smart, yet too smart for most things and too stupid for other things. I have the qualities and capabilities to go far in life, yet I am not intelligent and knowledgeable enough to handle higher education. At least, it most certainly feels that way...
Duality, that's the best way to describe an IQ range of 113 to 119 I suppose. It doesn't feel special, yet it doesn't feel like it's nothing either.
