I Am Wanting to Move Out
I separated from my husband and moved in with my parents, 14 year old sister, 21 year old brother that drives home from stout university to work every weekend, and it is so. Hard. I deal ok and occasionally loose my sanity because the people that are here to support me and took me in are by far the most critical of me.
My mom and stepdad thought I'd move into the basement and it'd be totally fine ya know. Well, the basement living room is one giant bedroom. A queen bed, a twin, and a decent sized baby crib among a couple dressors. As a soon to be 26 year old adult, I feel insulted my parents have complained and requested that I take my children downstairs and we all spend an hour or more in the bedroom so everyone else can have space from my kids. I feel insulted that my one year old and four year old have a time limit on crying before I'm getting yelled at because I can't just snap my fingers and make them stop crying, and it's an inconvenience on everyone when my child is upset I can't make dinner fast enough while my 4 year old is exercising his personality and pushing boundaries and eventually crying too because I won't Let him eat a snack before dinner. Crying is a normal human emotional reaction. Yelling at a kid for crying sure as hell isnt gonna help. Getting upset with their parent for not making them stop crying isn't going to help either.
Talking down on my children and I for bringing home daycare germs is rude. Like, "Take your kids and stay downstairs I don't want your germs up here." Yet my 14 year old sister has a bedroom downstairs and she's laying in my parents bed, texting on her phone, getting her germs everywhere. If I cook a separate meal for my children and I, I will do our dishes, but then my mother is telling me that if my sister cooks dinner for her and my stepdad while she's at work, I should do their dishes. All of a sudden I feel like Cinderella.
I'm going to college again after my other one shut down, and man that sucked... starting off with 8 credits for a month and then I just want to go full time ass much as possible to get my degree. I stopped working so I could focus on school, and I feel so underestimated with the hard work I do. I know it's stressful having your adult child move home with little kids. It's understandable. I don't like that I'm being parented like I'm a child and my 14 year old sister stays up late as she pleases, spends WAY too much time on her phone, and My brother and I don't even connect where we are in life right now. Furthermore, things that matter very much to me affect me deeply. I have up and down days like everyone else, and it upsets me to be asked what's wrong and then get criticized for my very own feelings like I'm doing something wrong by being depressed. For this reason, I've told my mother my life is my life, and I have a right to privacy not to share everything with her so she can critique it. I cannot wait to leave.
I can't sustain a healthy lifestyle if I try to move out and work full time and go to school full or part time while being a single mom. Some people can survive on ramen and three hours of sleep a night. But not me.
And no, I don't have any friends to move in with.
Is this worth it and better than staying in an unhappy marriage? What do you guys think?
My mom and stepdad thought I'd move into the basement and it'd be totally fine ya know. Well, the basement living room is one giant bedroom. A queen bed, a twin, and a decent sized baby crib among a couple dressors. As a soon to be 26 year old adult, I feel insulted my parents have complained and requested that I take my children downstairs and we all spend an hour or more in the bedroom so everyone else can have space from my kids. I feel insulted that my one year old and four year old have a time limit on crying before I'm getting yelled at because I can't just snap my fingers and make them stop crying, and it's an inconvenience on everyone when my child is upset I can't make dinner fast enough while my 4 year old is exercising his personality and pushing boundaries and eventually crying too because I won't Let him eat a snack before dinner. Crying is a normal human emotional reaction. Yelling at a kid for crying sure as hell isnt gonna help. Getting upset with their parent for not making them stop crying isn't going to help either.
Talking down on my children and I for bringing home daycare germs is rude. Like, "Take your kids and stay downstairs I don't want your germs up here." Yet my 14 year old sister has a bedroom downstairs and she's laying in my parents bed, texting on her phone, getting her germs everywhere. If I cook a separate meal for my children and I, I will do our dishes, but then my mother is telling me that if my sister cooks dinner for her and my stepdad while she's at work, I should do their dishes. All of a sudden I feel like Cinderella.
I'm going to college again after my other one shut down, and man that sucked... starting off with 8 credits for a month and then I just want to go full time ass much as possible to get my degree. I stopped working so I could focus on school, and I feel so underestimated with the hard work I do. I know it's stressful having your adult child move home with little kids. It's understandable. I don't like that I'm being parented like I'm a child and my 14 year old sister stays up late as she pleases, spends WAY too much time on her phone, and My brother and I don't even connect where we are in life right now. Furthermore, things that matter very much to me affect me deeply. I have up and down days like everyone else, and it upsets me to be asked what's wrong and then get criticized for my very own feelings like I'm doing something wrong by being depressed. For this reason, I've told my mother my life is my life, and I have a right to privacy not to share everything with her so she can critique it. I cannot wait to leave.
I can't sustain a healthy lifestyle if I try to move out and work full time and go to school full or part time while being a single mom. Some people can survive on ramen and three hours of sleep a night. But not me.
And no, I don't have any friends to move in with.
Is this worth it and better than staying in an unhappy marriage? What do you guys think?
31-35, F
