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I Am Living In a Life That I Dont Always Understand

In the late eighties , a brilliant woman was given away in marriage when her father died. Within exact 9 months,I was born.

I have absolutely no memories of my dad as I grew up. He was Santaclaus who comes every year with lots of goodies.

All my life I saw my mom struggle to fit in. She over-worked tried her level best to earn appreciation from dad or his foster family. I did most things alone. I always feel my mom loves her family more than me and my dad loves his family more than me. They care about the smallest needs of all my cousins who are all now groups.

I feel lonely now. Very lonely.

 
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