I Have Controlling Parents
So today didn't go well for me, and I kinda want to vent. just so you know, this is probably gonna be a long one. i need to sort out my feelings. I'm very sensitive, I cry easily and it can take ages for me to go back to normal.
To begin with, my school requires us to go on work experience for a week, Free of charge, and then write it up in a essay when we come back. Just last week, our teacher gave us the dates for it and we had to go out and start asking around during the Christmas holidays.
I wrote up my c.v. and my mom told me we were going to a list of art/ craft stores to hand them in. In a way, my parents have always been very controlling. I'm always the first person to go home at a party (around 8-9 is latest), i have to go straight home from school everyday. My mom is always scrutinising my test results.
I'm not very good at speaking in places I'm not familiar with. when my parents drove me to the first store, my mom went in with me. I walked in and their was one employee helping a customer. I kind of lurked around the entrance holding my sheets of paper while my mum whispered in my ear to go ahead and ask the employee. I shook my head at her and told her she's busy at the moment. My mum just jabbed me forward, but I still didn't speak up, I just kind of hovered beside the employee.
Eventually my mom had had enough and walked up to the employee and started asking about work experience. I was so embarrassed and i just clammed up. I probably said two words to her I think. We eventually left with the email of the manager.
As soon as we got to the exit, my mom started giving out to me for not speaking, telling me how rude I was. That she couldn't believe I did that and how am I meant to leave for college if I'm like that.
I started crying of course (which my mum hates) and when we got in the car my mum started complaining to my dad about what I did and how stupid and rude I was. I was completely in tears and we started driving to the next shop immediately. I was desperately trying to wipe my tears and calm down before we stopped.
I was still hiccuping and sniffling by the time we stopped and I started panicking over having to go and speak to the employee when I couldn't stop gulping and sniffling. My dad went out this time and told me to stop crying. when I told him ''I'm trying'' he said ''No you aren't, stop it.'' he gave me a few seconds to calm myself before bringing me into the shop. He stood at the entrance and told me to go and if anyone asked, I had a cold.
I kind of just walked like a robot, tears running down my face and tried to speak to the cashier. I said something like '' I have- um could I- w-work experience in February'' the cashier kind of looked a bit sorry for me and said really quietly that ''Sorry we don't take anyone on until summer.'' I kind of nodded really jerkily and walked straight out in hiccups.
My dad asked me what they said and I told him. He started saying that I need to go back in and tell them its for free. I refused and asked him if I can go home now and ask the next store tomorrow. I was too upset to ask people properly and I just wanted time to calm down. He agreed and we got back inside the car.
But my mom wouldn't let it go, when I told I'd do the other one tomorrow she said straight up no and that i was procrastinating and said ''just stop pitying yourself. get over it'' and then i wouldn't get turned down. I tried to make her see that i was going to go tomorrow , i just needed to calm down and make a plan. She got really mad at me and started shouting. She said it was final. My dad didn't do anything.
They dropped me off in the car park by myself and walked for 5 minutes to the store. When I got in, I tried hanging behind the aisles and take deep breaths. It wasn't working so I eventually just went up to the employee at the desk. She asked me if I was alright and I nodded and tried to say something. I think it was even worse than the last time. I had to start my sentence at least three times. When she said no , I just nodded again and she asked me again if I was ok, and that I didn't look ok. I walked right out.
When I got back into the car and told them they said no, they both started giving out to me, I started crying harder again.
When we got back home, my mom was fuming and wouldn't even look at me. my dad pointed at the sitting room and told me to clean up my sewing ''mess'' . when I went in and put everything in my arms, my dad kept demanding me to stop crying. he grabbed my arm and made me sit down on the coach. He told me that I need to man up. They've been coddling me too much and I won't get a job or anywhere in life if I keep this up.
I tried to explain that I had just needed time to calm down fully and them shouting at me was just making it worse. I just wanted to go up to my room.
My parents won't talk to me now, especially my mom. She won't even look at me. When she's like this, if we do anything wrong she's going to rip a new one at me and my siblings.
To begin with, my school requires us to go on work experience for a week, Free of charge, and then write it up in a essay when we come back. Just last week, our teacher gave us the dates for it and we had to go out and start asking around during the Christmas holidays.
I wrote up my c.v. and my mom told me we were going to a list of art/ craft stores to hand them in. In a way, my parents have always been very controlling. I'm always the first person to go home at a party (around 8-9 is latest), i have to go straight home from school everyday. My mom is always scrutinising my test results.
I'm not very good at speaking in places I'm not familiar with. when my parents drove me to the first store, my mom went in with me. I walked in and their was one employee helping a customer. I kind of lurked around the entrance holding my sheets of paper while my mum whispered in my ear to go ahead and ask the employee. I shook my head at her and told her she's busy at the moment. My mum just jabbed me forward, but I still didn't speak up, I just kind of hovered beside the employee.
Eventually my mom had had enough and walked up to the employee and started asking about work experience. I was so embarrassed and i just clammed up. I probably said two words to her I think. We eventually left with the email of the manager.
As soon as we got to the exit, my mom started giving out to me for not speaking, telling me how rude I was. That she couldn't believe I did that and how am I meant to leave for college if I'm like that.
I started crying of course (which my mum hates) and when we got in the car my mum started complaining to my dad about what I did and how stupid and rude I was. I was completely in tears and we started driving to the next shop immediately. I was desperately trying to wipe my tears and calm down before we stopped.
I was still hiccuping and sniffling by the time we stopped and I started panicking over having to go and speak to the employee when I couldn't stop gulping and sniffling. My dad went out this time and told me to stop crying. when I told him ''I'm trying'' he said ''No you aren't, stop it.'' he gave me a few seconds to calm myself before bringing me into the shop. He stood at the entrance and told me to go and if anyone asked, I had a cold.
I kind of just walked like a robot, tears running down my face and tried to speak to the cashier. I said something like '' I have- um could I- w-work experience in February'' the cashier kind of looked a bit sorry for me and said really quietly that ''Sorry we don't take anyone on until summer.'' I kind of nodded really jerkily and walked straight out in hiccups.
My dad asked me what they said and I told him. He started saying that I need to go back in and tell them its for free. I refused and asked him if I can go home now and ask the next store tomorrow. I was too upset to ask people properly and I just wanted time to calm down. He agreed and we got back inside the car.
But my mom wouldn't let it go, when I told I'd do the other one tomorrow she said straight up no and that i was procrastinating and said ''just stop pitying yourself. get over it'' and then i wouldn't get turned down. I tried to make her see that i was going to go tomorrow , i just needed to calm down and make a plan. She got really mad at me and started shouting. She said it was final. My dad didn't do anything.
They dropped me off in the car park by myself and walked for 5 minutes to the store. When I got in, I tried hanging behind the aisles and take deep breaths. It wasn't working so I eventually just went up to the employee at the desk. She asked me if I was alright and I nodded and tried to say something. I think it was even worse than the last time. I had to start my sentence at least three times. When she said no , I just nodded again and she asked me again if I was ok, and that I didn't look ok. I walked right out.
When I got back into the car and told them they said no, they both started giving out to me, I started crying harder again.
When we got back home, my mom was fuming and wouldn't even look at me. my dad pointed at the sitting room and told me to clean up my sewing ''mess'' . when I went in and put everything in my arms, my dad kept demanding me to stop crying. he grabbed my arm and made me sit down on the coach. He told me that I need to man up. They've been coddling me too much and I won't get a job or anywhere in life if I keep this up.
I tried to explain that I had just needed time to calm down fully and them shouting at me was just making it worse. I just wanted to go up to my room.
My parents won't talk to me now, especially my mom. She won't even look at me. When she's like this, if we do anything wrong she's going to rip a new one at me and my siblings.
