I Got Hurt

It amazes me that friends who had gone out of their way to help me in life would take advantage of moments I couldn't defend or help myself. I feel betrayed and very disrespected. Did you have so little regard for me after all, "friend"? I would have obsessed over revenge years ago. Presently, though, I don't want to. I don't want to confront him, I don't want to talk to the others about it, and I don't want to dwell on it.
Part of me is just numb. I don't feel intensely about it. It's like a subtle pain, a nagging in the back of my mind. Maybe I'm not ready to process it. It's been two years. I don't know what my problem is. It's like it hasn't quite registered. When I've seen him recently, it was like nothing happened. It's like I shut down and we react to one another like normal. There's the quick memory after we part ways again, but it's not there when we're face to face. I get confused. I don't know. I really don't.