I Have Daddy Issues

To sum up my relationship with my father: I remember when I was about 8-11 I said to my father while we were sitting on the stairs "I love you daddy", and he just looks down at his hands and says nothing. Then again I said, "I love you." He said nothing of course and continued to stare down at his hands playing with his fingernails. I really wanted to hear him say it because I had not heard him tell me in such a long time. I yell to my mother, Mom!, "dad won't say he loves me." She then confronted my father, "tell her you love her." He said it but it didn't make me feel any less sad.

I haven't heard him say it since. My father simply makes me sad and I am emotionally depressed and stressed because of him. I can't talk to him without grimacing at his presence and he doesn't even understand that he's the reason I'm sad. I know he sees my sadness every day at least I think he does . Though he continues to do and say things to cause me sadness. I just want to leave and never look at him again.