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Have you ever reached a point in your life where?

There just seems to be nothing exciting or motivating for me, like I have just pretty much lost everything worth striving for, I’m even starting to lose care in my health, at least I’m not battling, I earn a crust working a shitty day job, run a freelance photography/graphic design business on the side which was a struggle due to businesses being closed during covid and even I’m losing my interest in that along with my creative mojo, and I have to confess I have dabbled in a little coke this year but making sure that doesn’t become a problem. I feel like I have no one in my life, apart from the amazing people I have met here and EP over the years, and the most distant friends I have in this world are my closest because the connection is genuine with no perks.

But that being said, I feel like I’m starting to lose my way again and running out of flying 💩s to give, Ive even been drinking heaps, and pretty much only eating twice a week and only eat when the hunger pains get annoying. I haven’t even followed up on my health checks I was meant to get done.
Lately I’ve just been feeling like a prisoner in my own life and I just can’t seem to see the light at the end of the tunnel at all.
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Cierzo · M
What moves me now in life is hope. Hope to be able to live one day the life I want with the person I love. Hope to be able to see one day that the world is a less shitty place.

It is that hope what moves me to stay healthy, because if my hopes may become true, and I am a human wreck, everything will have been in vain.
SW-User
@Cierzo that’s the thing bro, it’s almost I have no hope left, especially in a chaotic divided and conquered world and after a break up, and the dreams and future plans all down the dunny too. Now I don’t know wether to move into a share house with strangers or get a cheap unit in the western suburbs, surrounded by the life I have been steering away from for the last 22 years.
SW-User
@Cierzo [quote] everything will have been in vain[/quote] I have painted that sentence 5 years ago with the same thought (is live just all in vein) and it was back in the days when I was a coke addict which kind of also related to that painting.