I Have Been In The Darkness For Too Long

Every woman seems to want a guy who's got it all together. Noone wants to deal with those of us with demons. The broken are avoided after being broken and cast away. "Get it together" like you know where the pieces are. Like you haven't been desperately trying to feel like yourself again after being shown you're not enough. Not adequate. Just smile, it's easier. If you make jokes they won't ask questions they don't really want the answers to. Make jokes just don't be alone. Alone is the dark place. The silence becomes deafening. Operation distraction is always in effect. Listen to the music. Leave the tv on. Please don't wake up in the middle of the night. The darkness is swift and the tower of London pales in comparison to the mind on a cold winter night. There's no good here. No God. Not anymore. Just you...the worst of you...Every word that broke places deep beyond the bones and flesh. Every mark every bruise. The bent bones that didn't break but never healed. The constant pain that doesn't leave your chest. Just smile. Make them laugh. Don't show them those places they won't come in after you. They want the parts of you that are convenient. The happy parts. But this labyrinth you will travel alone. Should you succomb to the darkness I pray God understands more than man. But if he doesn't it'll feel like home. Smile. Laugh. Joke. But don't expect a light. You are alone here in the dark and this is where you belong. This is home.