I don't understand why my family expect me to be stressed about my daughter getting married in November.

My brother sent me messages the other day about how stressed I must be. I told him not to bother because I'm not stressed.
She's getting married of her own free will to a man she loves very much. I'm not losing a daughter. It's not like she has been sentenced to death or anything. I'm happy for her, not stressed.
Jeez...if my own family don't know me by now then will they ever ?

Top | Newest First | Oldest First

MaryJanine · 61-69, F

When my niece got married (three years ago) my brother informed me about the upcoming nuptials but he said I wasn't invited to the wedding because "they aren't getting married in a church and you wouldn't like that." A wedding is a wedding, to me. Oh, well.

Six months afterward, he took me with him to a trip to Walgreens. Out of thin air, he said, "I talked to Mrs. Morales today."

I had no idea who he was talking about, and I asked him, "Who the hell is that?"

"Amy - your niece." I wasn't invited - how did I know?

A month ago, he grudgingly gave me a ride to CVS. I didn't see my niece in the back seat of the car until she got out and gave me a loving hug. She exclaimed, "It's been a long time! I haven't seen you since the graduation (college, to which I was invited)." Well, that didn't sit too well with her father. As she got back into the car, she leaned forward and said, "You just HAVE to meet Eric (her new husband)."

I replied, "That would be nice. I heard about Eric, but I never MET him."

My brother practically had steam coming out of his ears. My God - she's my niece. Why shouldn't I talk to her? He never said much about his new son-in-law anyway.

View 1 more replies »

MaryJanine · 61-69, F

@Wraithorn I haven't the vaguest. He's been secretive ever since he married June (his wife). I have gotten along with her better when he brought her around with him - AFTER the wedding. As for my niece, I've always loved her, and he knows it. Maybe it's because his first daughter was stillborn and he was worried he would never have a child. But along came Amy- pretty, loving and fun.

Wraithorn · 51-55, M

@MaryJanine Well I hope the situation improves and I hope Amy and her man have a splendid life on this here third rock from the sun.

MaryJanine · 61-69, F

@Wraithorn Thank you from my niece and her husband. And I hope you have a good time at the wedding and enjoy your new son-in-law afterward in years to come. My mom only met my brother's wife once, but she was good to her - ditto my stepsister's husband.

SW-User

I think they expect you to be more stressed about the wedding than the marriage. If you're involved in any of the planning details or even helping out that can be a stressor. You could also be stressed about how everything is going to go at the wedding. My sister is getting married this summer and my mom is very excited and happy about it, but she's a little stressed about not knowing what she's going to wear, how she's going to look (she wants to be happy when she sees herself in wedding pictures, she's very insecure about her weight) and meeting her future son-in-law's family.
Sorry if I made you start getting stressed about the things I said, good luck and congratulations

Wraithorn · 51-55, M

@SW-User No worries, thanks for a thoughtful answer. I'm at that stage in life now where I am not concerned about what other people expect of or think of me. What you see is what you get. 🙂

curiosi · 61-69, F

Many thrive off of stress and anxiety, they wont admit it even to themselves. If they wont admit it to themselves they surely wont be able to see things in others.

cherokeepatti · 61-69, F

[@yes projecting

Wraithorn · 51-55, M

@curiosi Well I'm chilled and I'm 50 yrs old. Surely they know by now I'm not changing that.

cherokeepatti · 61-69, F

Weddings are stressful in America, so many go overboard with expenses. That on top of the dinners and everything else that seems to be expected.

Wraithorn · 51-55, M

@cherokeepatti Well my daughter and her fiance are paying for their own wedding so there's no financial stress for me. 🙂

SW-User

She should be the one stressed and nervous. It's her big day

Wraithorn · 51-55, M

@SW-User That's what I told my bro. She is getting married, not me.

MarineBob · 56-60, M

You are getting free help around your house

MartinTheFirst · 22-25, M

I think they mean stressed in the way that it's going to be a big event and many guests.

Wraithorn · 51-55, M

@MartinTheFirst You mean like the guests expectations and whatnot of me ? Eh...I don't care what they think. The day is all about her, not me.

MartinTheFirst · 22-25, M

@Wraithorn bingo

Add a comment...