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Why is my dad so closed minded?

THIS WILL BE LONG. I APOLOGIZE!!

So, I am 19, and I live at home with my parents. My dad is a hunter, and is really big on self-defense and very much supports concealed carry and things like that. It's almost as if he is too afraid to live his life without being prepared for a terrorist attack. He always brings his gun in the car when we travel, and has been caught bringing his knife into federal buildings at the metal detectors because he has forgotten to remove it. That being said, I am pretty much the opposite. I completely understand being prepared, but I also don't want to live my life in fear. I'll give you an example of what my dad's mentality is:

One night, a couple of years ago, I was at dinner with my parents. A group of Middle Eastern men walked in, and were simply enjoying their meal. Upon walking back to the car, my dad made some comments that I found very offensive, saying how he knew they were Muslims because they smelt awful and that Muslim men don't shower. I don't know if that's true, but I found it very rude for him to comment on it regardless. Then we mentioned how they had been a bit rowdy, and he replied that "He didn't see any weapons." It just REALLY pisses me off that he automatically assumes that a group of people who look different than him could be potential terrorists. My mom and I both explained to him how rude it was, (If anything I said it's way more likely for an attacker to be white) and he went off saying how "You always need to be prepared."

While I agree that there's nothing wrong with being prepared, you shouldn't let it overrun your life or make you afraid to do things. The thing that bothers me the most is that he absolutely REFUSES to let me spend the night at home alone because I don't know how to shoot a gun. He also claims that he will prevent me from moving out until I learn how to shoot one. (Which he can't legally do.) In my opinion, I think that I would be more harm to myself if someone broke in, or that someone would simply use it on me, as I am small and weak. My main reasoning against it is that I would harm myself, as I have a history of suicidal thoughts, and I don't trust myself. Like I said, I have no issue with being prepared, but I think he should respect my wishes. Am I in the wrong here? Or should I try to see it from his side as he only wants me to be protected?
CountScrofula · 41-45, M Best Comment
Your dad is paranoid. The idea that you cannot be left alone without a gun is [i]insane[/i]. Seriously. You absolutely have a right to not want a gun, and it's a very sober and smart thing to not want one around if suicidal thoughts can become dominant.

Note I'm not anti-gun. I'm not really pro-gun either. But your dad's obsession with home invasion is really weird and not at all healthy. It's just not a reasonable risk. And statistically, owning a gun is the best way to get killed by one whether self-inflicted or otherwise.

But your dad being wrong doesn't change the fact you're living with him and subject to his weirdness. Your options are to defy him, learn to shoot, or move out.

SirAhmed · 31-35, M
Your father is doing this to protect you and the redt of the family but obviously He’s doing it the wrong way. Panicking over things that’s just in his head. We all gotta be prepared mentally before arms preparation. But yet he loves you so much and can’t stand the idea of seeing you hurt. He should respect your wishes to be wild and free without any restrictions but he will never look at you this way because he’s seeing you with Father’s eyes so you will always be his little girl no matter how old you get. Believe me I’m a father and I know how he feels but I don’t prepare myself this way because I know simply life is way simpler than this and whatever is going to happen to you will happen to you no matter how prepared you are.
And for that Muslim thing as A Muslim and a middle eastern man no disrespect to your father but he’s wrong me myself I shower 3 times a day😊 he gotta seek some professional help because that way he’s turning against himself and the people around him unintentionally. But always remember whatever he’s doing he’s doing it to keep every beloved one to him safe
iamnikki · 31-35, F
You are right. I don't want a gun for the same reasons you mentioned. Being short and small, a would-be attacker is gonna take my gun and shoot me with it. I also do not like being out alone at night because i feel like a vulnerable target for someone looking for trouble. I too live with parents. Mom said i should get licence to carry when i move. Again, for the aforementioned reasons, I will not.
@iamnikki Right!? There's no reason for me to have one. I wouldn't mind taking self-defense classes or something, but I am NOT going to carry a deadly weapon.
iamnikki · 31-35, F
@marilynmichelle i agree.
MikeSp · 56-60, M
I've met people like you and your Dad. All good people but maybe over-analyzing the issues. You Dad might be a fearful person or he watches the news too much. It's obvious he loves you very much and doesn't want anything to happen to you. He is afraid of how he will feel if you move out and he is not there to protect you. Maybe he is not aware that the chances of you being a crime victim are incredibly small, esecially if you take sensible precautions. OTOH, you can help alleviate his fears by going to a shooting range and learning how to safely handle and shoot a weapon, whether you get a concealed permit or not. Keep a gun in a hidden but easily accessible location to provide protection if you need it. A gun safe with a quick access option is a good idea, and a must if children are around. The course and regular practice will give you the confidence you need to have a gun. When you feel down, give your gun to a trusted friend for safekeeping, but with a written agreement and without ammo so that removes a liability issue.
GoodoldBob · 61-69, M
Seeing it from his side does not mean that you must bow to his wishes. I think you do need to try to accept that he is worried about your safety and not be resentful of his demands. But he sounds very paranoid and unreasonable and it is not wrong for you to not go along with him.

Maybe you can compromise on a golf club or a baseball bat if you don't want to learn to shoot.
Bean17 · 46-50, F
I’m with you. I think that if you feel like it’s safer for you to NOT have a gun around—you definitely shouldn’t! I also think your idea of taking self-defense classes and arming yourself with mace are good ideas.
You are absolutely NOT in the wrong here, Marilyn. I don't know what possessed you father to feel the need to protect himself to this degree, but it would seem his motive is fear based. Things like racism, nonacceptance of other religions or ethnic groups, and homophobia, are also fear based. You and your mother not promoting his views and actions, is a sign of health. I think your dad could use some psychotherapy. Good Luck.
walabby · 61-69, M
You sound very sane, and yes, you are right...
melmouthfulls · 51-55, F
Well I definitely see both sides, not the racism part but him worrying for your safety as you describe yourself as small and week. But at the same time a gun for someone with suicidal thoughts is a scary idea. How about offering a compromise by taking self defense classes?
NickiHijab · F
Oh dear. Even though he means good.. it's sad how much he's consumed by fear.

As for being doubtful about the muslim men not showering comment?.. I can assure you that's not true lol.
@NickiHijab I agree. He's just so closed-minded.
NickiHijab · F
@marilynmichelle I get it. It's hard to challenge a mindset that is so rigid. Just don't let him cloud your judgement of people. Living a life where you're constantly on edge over everything and everyone doesn't sound like an ideal way to live.
Seek psychiatric help.
@marilynmichelle yes. Also I don’t think your father is consumed by fear.
@WildernessWriterExplorer What are your thoughts, then?
@marilynmichelle your Dad is cautious. But to be consumed by fear means he wouldn’t leave your house and would stay in safe areas. But if you believe he is consumed by fear then by that same definition so are you.
SW-User
my friend and his family are avid into guns but they dont force it onto others. sounds like your dad has a bit of paranoia
Gforce1163 · 56-60, M
Like most non Americans I struggle to understand the gun fixation. It seems paranoid and twisted. I hope you can move out soon
PeanutsauntieP1982 · 41-45, F
Perhaps you could take a self defense class, try to meet him in the middle.
i agree with your dad better be safe.
JoyfulSilence · 46-50, M
Your dad is an ass.
ViciDraco · 36-40, M
Go ahead and have him teach you how to shoot a gun at targets. Educating yourself in gun safety and basic use won't hurt anything. Suicide doesn't require any skill or education in guns.

Knowing how to shoot a gun does not mean you need to keep one after you move out.
@ViciDraco Yeah, that's true.

 
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