I Am Struggling With Forgiveness
Today is the first day that I've finally felt true forgiveness toward you...I was in bondage for three years suffering from a spirit of unforgiveness which would call out your name each and every morning and remind me of all that you have done to me! I was very hurt by you for you were a vessel of satan who repeatedly and purposely kept on hurting me by violating me and my youngest child. I had to make my peace with God first by understanding that it was not His will for satan to attack me, but he allowed it.....Those people misinterpret the bible and did all that was evil within it, may Jehovah God grant me justice for vengence is mine sayeth the Lord. I had made peace with God, I knew that evil didn't come from him but from satan himself, so it was easier for me to make peace with God.
As for you, I wanted to forgive you from the begining, I really did, it was a choice that I had made, but emotionally I was too hurt to feel forgiveness from the get go. Every single day I had to make a conscious decision to forgive you over and over again, seventy times a day I had to forgive you!
Time healed my emotions, the hurt and anger and bitterness and resentment, which killed all love I had for you. As time progressed I hurt less and less over a time span of three years.
I knew that I had a spirit of unforgiveness that day I threw it back in your face what you had done to me and my child, I had to I wanted it to stop, that was the day you rejected me, and I was to pick up the pieces of my shattered heart.
Now to this day even though I no longer feel hurt, or anger or pain and resentment towards you, there is a spirit that calls out your name every morning and reminds me of all that you have done to me, that is the spirit of unforgiveness, and it's a strong hold...It itself drives me mad! and I am angry with it itself....
As of today I have finally forgiven you, from my heart, I can feel it, there is no more pain and resentment that is gone, but the evil spirit is still there. So from now on I will ignore it and put up my sheild of faith to dampen the firey arrows of the evil one, I know exactly what it is, it's a demon and I refuse to be in bondage towards it, and towards you. I forgive you and I want to be healed and set free from this spirit. And yes, I still love you.
As for you, I wanted to forgive you from the begining, I really did, it was a choice that I had made, but emotionally I was too hurt to feel forgiveness from the get go. Every single day I had to make a conscious decision to forgive you over and over again, seventy times a day I had to forgive you!
Time healed my emotions, the hurt and anger and bitterness and resentment, which killed all love I had for you. As time progressed I hurt less and less over a time span of three years.
I knew that I had a spirit of unforgiveness that day I threw it back in your face what you had done to me and my child, I had to I wanted it to stop, that was the day you rejected me, and I was to pick up the pieces of my shattered heart.
Now to this day even though I no longer feel hurt, or anger or pain and resentment towards you, there is a spirit that calls out your name every morning and reminds me of all that you have done to me, that is the spirit of unforgiveness, and it's a strong hold...It itself drives me mad! and I am angry with it itself....
As of today I have finally forgiven you, from my heart, I can feel it, there is no more pain and resentment that is gone, but the evil spirit is still there. So from now on I will ignore it and put up my sheild of faith to dampen the firey arrows of the evil one, I know exactly what it is, it's a demon and I refuse to be in bondage towards it, and towards you. I forgive you and I want to be healed and set free from this spirit. And yes, I still love you.
