Only logged in members can reply and interact with the post.
Join SimilarWorlds for FREE »

I Believe That Internet Friends Are Real

A few months ago, I went on a little rant in this group about treating your internet friends poorly by blocking them without a word or investigating them to see if they're a catfish after you've befriended them.

The post can be found here:
https://similarworlds.com/1572626-I-Believe-That-Internet-Friends-Are-Real/1762090-If-you-believe-your-internet-friends-are-real-too

However, in light of recent personal epiphanies, if you will, I've come to change my mind about some things I have said in that post. I still stand by a few things, particularly about suspecting and investigating someone of being a fake after you've already became friends. But about blocking your friends without explanation, let's talk about that...

First, let me just say that yes, I do think internet friends can be real friends. But even so, it's never quite on the same level as being friends with someone you know personally. Can you ever truly say you know someone personally when you only know them from the internet? No, I don't think you can. Your internet friends can be real good friends of yours but they are still just internet friends. If one of them ends up rubbing you the wrong the way or you otherwise don't want to be friends with them anymore for whatever reason and that's enough for you to want to block them, you do not owe them any explanation for doing so. It doesn't make you a shitty friend, it doesn't mean you don't value your friends (that's a ridiculous statement now that I think about it), it just means they were nothing more than an internet friend to you and that's okay.

When I made that post linked above, I was talking about internet friends as if they're friends you know in person but I've come to the realization that it's really not the same thing. If someone were to just stop being friends with someone they know irl without any explanation then yes, that would be pretty shitty and maybe bring into question how much they value their friends. But this isn't irl, this is the internet. Anything short of getting to know someone you met online through video chatting or phone calls or whatever (something on a more personal level), then I don't think you can truly say you know your internet friends personally like your real-world friends. Sure, they can still be real friends to you but how much of a friend can you be to one another when you don't [b]really[/b] know them and they don't [b]really[/b] know you?

Of course, this can also be a matter of personal perception. One can put as much as value into their internet friends as they do friends they know personally. I certainly do value all the friends I have here a great deal. I'm just trying to speak from a logical standing and stress that one severing ties with an internet friend without saying a word doesn't make them a poor friend, it just means you were an internet friend to them. If you get hurt because you thought you were something more to them, that's kinda your problem.

This isn't going to be too popular with some people, I know. But I'm just trying to be realistic about this. If it's any consolation, I'm also speaking as someone who's been dumped by online friends countless times. 🤷
Primnproper · 56-60, F
To me it's about mutual respect all be it online or off..if you are going to sever a friendship then you owe it to that person to be honest about why..if it's real life I want to tell them to their face why I'm doing it but there's still no excuse to not telling someone why you are cutting them off..
@Primnproper That’s why you are so freaking incredible. Am lucky.
Primnproper · 56-60, F
@DarkHeaven my point is we all choose if we want to be a decent person..
@Primnproper Yup. 🖤🤗
funny you're re-evaluating......I came on here with 'expectations' - had most of them blown out of the water in the first month (after the first two week 'high' wore off)

And I'm still shuffling concepts and definitions and ethics in my head. this world has a 'reality' to it....but also not.

It's so frustratingly 'non-concrete' that it's hard to pin down ANYTHING to being 'finite'.

But I love the fact that you're posting this - showing people that it's alright to change your mind. this is what personal growth is all about .👍
wildbill83 · 36-40, M
@DarkHeaven and it's "trekkie", not trecky... 😛 lol
@wildbill83 I get it but treckiness is a whole new level of geekiness.
@wildbill83 I'm going to get a different Dr. Don’t worry, it’s a lot bigger on the inside.
[image deleted]
Intissima · F
Thank you for writing this and the other post.
I like your thoughts.
I have a condition where when and I know people joke about certain words (triggers for example) but it’s real for me.
Something happens to me and I feel like the other person is trying to cause me severe pain or worse. My brain reacts the same way someone would react if they cameface to face with a bear or something that was about to kill them.
So the first thing my body does is it gets to a place of safety.
And gets away from whatever situation it was that is causing me intense fear and panic.
I can honestly say that there are maybe three or four people excluding my nurses that know about this and actually (I can’t even write this without getting emotional) stick around till I calm down and come back and they just know.
It means so much to me that there are people out there that get that. Being friends with me is hard because of that.
Especially on here because there are people similar to me who will have similar stuff.
I think this website has been a massive help for me.

If I ever block you (I haven’t and I won’t) but know it’s not intentional it’s my brains response to an external threat that isn’t there.

You are very kind and very understanding.
Hugs to you 🤗
@Intissima Still really sad but I’m just going to need time, I think. 🤗
Intissima · F
@DarkHeaven 😕🤗😘💕👭🍫🍓🐧
@Intissima Thank you sweetie 🖤
I think it's a highly debated topic and falls in line with those who say they are 'in love' with people they have both not spoken with, and more importantly those they cannot put a 'real' face to. The biggest issue here on the wider Internet is that of [b]some[/b] people who want to be better than their real selves; that's a fact, if we like it or not. I agree with you, in that when it comes to being close to someone, be that in friendship or affairs of the heart, it's worth considering it's the persona we might befriend, or even go on to have deeper feelings for; it's the persona, because it can never be until we meet 'that' person that we can ever really know how we truly feel about them.

It's easy to be 'better' than ourselves. Those who are [i]'the cup of loving kindness'[/i] in how they come across to us can be a much different person in their reality; that's a fact, also. What this leaves us with is enough discernment to trust ourselves in how we feel about those who present themselves to us and the fashion in how they present themselves.

Like you, I don't think for one moment that anything I might say or feel will be too popular for some. But I've been around the Internet since it's advent and I've seen some tales of woe that beggars belief.

IMHO, of course :)
SW-User
This is WONDERFUL! I can't see how anyone can disagree with your points here.
JarJarBoom · 41-45, F
Its always a wake-up call when someone you thought who valued you, actually doesn't. I think it takes awhile to get over but the internet makes it easy to ghost people and convince yourself that maybe the person on the other side isn't a real person.
@JarJarBoom This ⬆
God I love how you break it down simple Jar. The no bullshit zone.
Peaches · F
Insightful post! 😊⭐Now I'm off to read your other one...
Peaches · F
@Carver Hahaha, that was the one!!!😁👍🏼After all this time...
@Peaches She listed me twice on it because I’m THAT SPECIAL. lol 😉 *giggles*
@Carver Love you Carver 🖤🤗
This message was deleted.
Carver · 31-35, F
@SW-User It's best to lower your expectations from people. Don't expect them to stick around forever, even if you think they will.
This message was deleted.
@Carver & @SW-User I think some of us are better. I’m going to stay stupid even if it hurts.🖤🤗
Having recently gone through this myself with a non-romantic former friend here

I can say it hurts, it's insulting, and very much would like to know why.

But that will probably not be answered, and I'll deal with that.

But at the end of the day you are correct. I allowed myself too much attachment to this person.
*no words* 🖤🤗
You expressed do very relevant insights here.

What brought about this change in position?
Carver · 31-35, F
@Watcher1234 Let's just say being dumped again.
@Carver I totally understand
bellybuttonfan17 · 36-40, M
I like how you've expressed yourself very clearly here Alex. I have absolutely nothing but praise for this post. Very on the money! 🤗😊
ArtieKat · M
Interesting post - perhaps there should be another category of "internet acquaintances"?
UserNameSW · 46-50, M
Well said.
Nothing is forever even freinds
Karmalives · 51-55, M
I had a friend once
This message was deleted by the author of the main post.
496sbc · 36-40, M
Tell her that too. @DarkHeaven
Carver · 31-35, F
@496sbc Yeah, this isn't a thread to call people out on. Don't do it again.
@496sbc I didn’t see her post naming you without having a chance to defend yourself, if there is one. I saw yours.

 
Post Comment