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I "Do My Best to Keep My Daughter Safe, Healthy and Happy"

Today is my daughter Krysten's birthday. She is the middle out of my 3 girls.

Their father is a waste of space that has done nothing but hurt them. They have all kinds of anxiety and PTSD from the man.

I got so mad at my mother tonight. We always get a birthday cake for my girls especially if their birthday is on a different day than their party. While we were having her birthday cake guess who tried to call (on my mother's phone) I've always told them even when the court wouldn't take away his rights that none of them had to interact with him. He caused so much damage in all our lives. My mom was practically begging her to talk to him. Then it turned to guilt.

I had to not so politely remind my mother that they were not going to interact with him if they don't want to. Krysten told her at least 4 times she was not going to. The boy takes off hiding for a year so he wouldn't have to pay child support. The joke was on him because I tried to get his rights taken away for the problems he caused. I would have been happy to not get child support of it meant he had to stay away. He calls them on their birthday like it's supposed to make up for the other 364 days of the year. He's done this since we separated.
My mom is the first to bitch about how he doesn't care, but she's always tried to undermine them when they want nothing to do with him. I've always left it up to them. I won't speak to him. But I believe it should be up to them. Not my mom telling her, he only wants to tell you happy birthday. You're gonna make him feel bad. I can't say it in front of them, but he doesn't care, and he probably doesn't even have the ability to feel bad.
answer me something why is that takes a smart person to do something TRULY and DEEPLY stupid?

I ask this question because my elder sister is quiet proud of being a bit smarter than most people and I mean she has more education than a lot of people do she's privileged in that regard.

She also was the freak among us who liked school.

She got involved with a man who she fathered a kid by who had her take out EVERY single loan he possibly could, my mother BEGGED her not to marry him saw him for what he was VERY early on an she STILL did it and of course mom was right about him.

He doesn't even pay child support, he fled the country.

and my poor niece still loves her dad who clearly doesn't love her enough to actually provide for his daughter.

my sister is not dumb- she's a massive fool though. by the time they divorced she was deeply in debt and it was all his doing and now he won't even pay for his kid.
[@1159,CallmeHopelessNotRomantic] I'm not one for headgames, I'm pretty honest.

I mean if that's what I was after the girls in question would know pretty quickly, I'm upfront by nature. It's not really about tricking her into anything.

although of course with me I'm not after "Hooking up."

so it would be a relationship, but how the hell do you tick anyone into one anyways? inquiring minds are curious.

those things tend ot happen of their own momentum and they certainly rarely ever happen over night.

I don't tend to fall in love very quickly for the most part, although there are many states short of that that are quiet difficult to get over.
[@10406,BetweenKittensandRiots] they like to try the "I'm ok being just friends" and they think they are sweeping you off your feet and then I have to remind them, I'm not looking for that. Then they get mad and make us the bad guy.
[@1159,CallmeHopelessNotRomantic] sigh. with me it would be more like with the ones I'm interested in "Don't take this the wrong way, but I am very interested in you an a romantic way but if that frightens you or is something you don't share with me personally speaking I know it's difficult for some people to be friends with that person and some people even Lie and say they would be and then don't follow through I am not like that I AM friends ALREADY with people I have similiar feelings for and HONESTLY the most PAINFUL thing you could do in response is NOT to be my friend but to ghost my ass after I told you this...."
a

all of which is litterally true. I don't play games. /i might let them know i'm shooting for the stars but anything short of that is still on the moon.

It's not a consolaition prize and honestly the thing is with those girls it's just if i'm into them I don't want to be somebody they barely know if we're going to be friends we're going to be damn good ones

just like me and kim... I guess we don't talk every single day but we do... frequently.

and it very much so is a one sided attraction with me to her

I actually find her and her partner Jai to be cute together... I sometimes find myself happy for her that she finally has a man that treats her like she's special..

I'm not like the others....like I said I don't play games.

and of course the nice guy complex is long gone at this point , lost a friend. Have realized it's much better to be a friend especially in the wake of having made the moves too early on somebody who i'm OVER At this point but who ghosted my ass the moment I told her, and not just her, it's happened a couple times to me and I get those girls are conflict avoidant potentially for good reasons but I wish they had more faith in me because those who really know me understand I feel like Ive rejected plenty of women in the past and I believe in equality.

I'm not the type that says I'm interested gets rejected and then calls her all kinds of nasty names I figure if i'm into somebody anyways it doesn't so much matter if they aren't into me, I still feel that way.

the girls I like can't make me hate them by not sharing my feelings for them.

I'm not the same kid I was though. I used ot burn bridges because I felt it was difficult to be friends but honestly it's more difficult to be friends with somebody you were in a relationship with and then breakup with than it is to be friends with somebody who turned you down right from the start.

I can't really blame the two who ghosted me because they've never really did witness me with other girls too early in our relationship to...it's not necessarily immediately obvious i'm not like the others.
Degbeme · 61-69, M
It`s too bad the courts don`t know him the way you do. All he cares about is himself. 🤨 He needs to stay away for good. I`m sorry you have to put up with this. 😟
[@72117,Degbeme] I tried. I am not one of those people who thinks a kid is a paycheck. The time we were together was awful. one of my daughter's even told the court if they made her go around him, she would hang herself in her closet. He caused so many problems. I even told them at my divorce I wouldn't force them to go. The way he was I'd never trust him. With his temper, I didn't even let him stay by himself with the kids. He TRIED to take all his anger out on them. I don't know how either of us survived being "together...ish"
Degbeme · 61-69, M
[@1159,CallmeHopelessNotRomantic] Reading this tells me there is a serious flaw in the system. When i child says they`ll hang themselves before being around that person. Someone isn`t listening.

 
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I "Do My Best to Keep My Daughter Safe, Healthy and Happy"
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