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I dreamt about him again. Why won't he leave my mind?

He told me in this dream why he left... He told me that I was aggressive and hot headed. And he wasn't lying. And I begged him to stay. I threw myself to the ground and clasped my hands, pleading. I sobbed and sobbed and choked on my tears. I swore that I was a different person. Who I used to be was far gone with the waves of the past, dragged away by the massive tongues of the ocean of redemption, swallowed forever into its merciful depths, never to surface again.
And it took a whole night of my painful cries for his dead heart to resurrect as a beating life, and forgive me.

And my joy knew no bounds at that break of dawn. I lined the entire apartment building with cake. The biggest cake the world had seen. And his entire family was invited. The cake didn't end. We made plans again. It was a breezy morning. I had never been happier. I didn't know a broken mirror could fix itself crackless. But the impossible had finally happened. All my dreams had suddenly come true.

We were together again.
***

When I woke up, all happy and excited, my heart sank again.... My head felt heavy. I heard the winds slap against the windows. The sky was grey. And every now and then the doors would tremble in a dull series of thuds. We lost power. And so today I woke up to another day of mourning.

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ReflectionsInTime

I don't know if you are, but Iam seeing people thinking of suicide and wanted to say I'm so sorry you're having such a hard time. My heart so goes out to you. Please don't. All is not lost.

I was at the same place of despair, one time in my life, thinking all was lost and there was absolutely no hope, but Jesus stepped in and changed my whole life. I've seen this happen to others, too. I care about you and what happens to you. When things happen like this, it is actually God trying to get our attention to get us back on track. He is trying to help you and give direction and stability to your life. He's trying to help you see that things need changing, in order for them to start working right and you can be happy again, but the answer is not suicide. There's no need to do anything that drastic. That is never the answer. Things will definitely get better, as you take better care of yourself and manage what you do have, but when we're in as deep as you feel you are, we can't reason that through like we should, because of confusion. This is where Jesus comes in as a wonderful helper and friend, when we allow Him to help. He can see into your future, so He knows EXACTLY what you need and He'll never let you down. He will never lead you down the wrong path. He has helped thousands like you and I. If you talk to Him, and allow Him to help you, He definitely will never turn you away nor abandon you like all others have, but you must want and ask for His help.

Take it one day at a time. Talk to Jesus and He will help you change your life. He can completely turn it around for the better. The more you trust him and pray, the more He will guide you, if you'll commit yourself to His guidance. God helped me make better choices. Below is the true story of a person just like you. Look what Jesus did for him. Jesus loves us all the same. He will help you just the same, guaranteed. It's not a maybe...it's a promise.

Please don't give up. You can have so many days ahead of you. Things won't always feel this way. God can make a way where there seems to be no way. When you are this depressed, nothing seems right. We can't even think straight, let alone make decisions about life. On one hand, Satan is telling you life is not worth living, but he's a liar. He's wanting nothing but for you to give up and give in to him. Don't fall for it. Jesus makes all things new. That's what He does, and specializes in. He did it for me, when I felt hopeless, and completely turned my life around. I've seen it numerous times. He'll do the same for you, if you'll trust Him to. He takes a life where there seems to be no hope, and brings us new hope, new beginnings, and a brand new start in life. All is not lost, as the devil would have you believe. Look at what God did for my friend, who was just like you....I'm praying for you. Love and hugs
~ Grace

[b][c=BF0000]https://similarworlds.com/christianity/4254601-What-started-as-a-tragic-suicide-ended-in-a-life[/c][/b]

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