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I Am Confused About My Relationship

I am in my longest relationship ever... The guy is funny, and smart, addicted to cuddling and kisses (totally not a bad thing) but also distant and doesn't know how to support me with my depression, which really forms a big barrier between us because I don't confide in him. He doesn't know what to say when I tell him about how I'm feeling, and then he feels bad he cant't help.
An old friend and I have been catching up, and he has not been able to be with anyone else, even after two years, because he loves me and he's still emotionally attached. I love him too. And I want to help him... he has really bad depression and has been lowkey contemplating suicide. I want to be there for him, like I haven't been before. I feel guilty about it, because I'm having doubts about being with my current boyfriend, but I want to stick it out. I don't want to be squirrely, push people away, or leave him for someone else. I'm his first girlfriend. I don't want to break him. Leave what I am familiar with, but disappointed, for someone who has proven they'll do anything for me? When I am worried about the well beings of both guys?

Please, no hate. I just want to figure this out...
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HotMessExpress102 · 41-45, F
You have to figure out what you need and not what two different guys need.
The part where you can't tell the one how you feel, because he doesn't understand is a big deal. You need someone you can lean on. Even though we try to ignore our depression by helping others, you'll fall further behind in yourself. Take care of you and love will step in where it should.
Best of luck and hugs 🤗