I Am Confused About My Relationship
Well I’ve been with this girl for 3 and a half years and recently my fiancée. Now I’m on second thoughts.
We’re in a long distance relationship; I’m British and she’s Floridian. The whole time I’ve been working full time, but she has never had a proper full time, salaried job. She’s done fiddle jobs here and there, and was working part time for some time.
She quit high school in her last grade for reasons I can understand, but has since took her over two years to complete her GED, which for the most part I paid for the tests as I wanted her to carry on. I’ve seen the online GED and could easily be complete in a few weeks if that. Now she wants to go on a 3 month college course and she’s adamant that will get her somewhere, but I have my doubts. She’s extremely good at cleaning as her mother was a maid and still cleans frequently for retirees and such, so I don’t see why she won’t make a living doing that; 3/4 houses a day 5 days a week and she’s flying.
My story is I met her half way through my engineering apprenticeship (like a paid internship) for a local authority. After completion, there were no full engineer jobs. As my job is quite niche and I was adamant to keep seeing my girlfriend, I left my family and friends behind and moved to a place which offered a job. I despise both the location and the job and the pay isn’t particularly good so it’s a struggle. I’ve spoke to my girlfriend time and time again about this but she keeps stalling, telling me she’s planning on this and that. I ask why aren’t you doing this and that, you’ve had 3 years! She wants me to move there with her, and I’d love to, but with zero financial aid from her it is nigh on impossible, leading me to believe she’s in a fairytale world. I’ve payed for all flights, I bought her a phone, her gifts are pricey, I’ve bought her clothes and makeup, but I’ve received barely anything in return. Is she a gold digger? No, I tend to offer as I felt sorry for her a lot, but now I think less and less sorry and more “get off your arse and make some money!” Her dependency on me and her parents is a turn off at 22 years old and it’s causing us to argue a lot. I don’t mind if she lives with them, but with a next to nothing income it’s a pain in the ass. She babysits her baby sister, which isn’t her responsibility, and makes little money from it, she has money saved for a runaround car but won’t buy one as she wants a nearly new car with Bluetooth and all that bollocks. She won’t get a job at any clothes shop or restaurant, but I tell her she’s not in a position to be picky. You start from the bottom and make your way up. I’ve given her a equilibrium; she’s working full time by Valentine’s Day or I’m done. She’s had 3 and a half years to make this work and there’s been next to no willingness to change.
Now I’m starting to think about what I’m missing out on if I were with a hard working person; I could have been to many places I wanted to go already. It’s really putting me down, but I love her. What should I do?
We’re in a long distance relationship; I’m British and she’s Floridian. The whole time I’ve been working full time, but she has never had a proper full time, salaried job. She’s done fiddle jobs here and there, and was working part time for some time.
She quit high school in her last grade for reasons I can understand, but has since took her over two years to complete her GED, which for the most part I paid for the tests as I wanted her to carry on. I’ve seen the online GED and could easily be complete in a few weeks if that. Now she wants to go on a 3 month college course and she’s adamant that will get her somewhere, but I have my doubts. She’s extremely good at cleaning as her mother was a maid and still cleans frequently for retirees and such, so I don’t see why she won’t make a living doing that; 3/4 houses a day 5 days a week and she’s flying.
My story is I met her half way through my engineering apprenticeship (like a paid internship) for a local authority. After completion, there were no full engineer jobs. As my job is quite niche and I was adamant to keep seeing my girlfriend, I left my family and friends behind and moved to a place which offered a job. I despise both the location and the job and the pay isn’t particularly good so it’s a struggle. I’ve spoke to my girlfriend time and time again about this but she keeps stalling, telling me she’s planning on this and that. I ask why aren’t you doing this and that, you’ve had 3 years! She wants me to move there with her, and I’d love to, but with zero financial aid from her it is nigh on impossible, leading me to believe she’s in a fairytale world. I’ve payed for all flights, I bought her a phone, her gifts are pricey, I’ve bought her clothes and makeup, but I’ve received barely anything in return. Is she a gold digger? No, I tend to offer as I felt sorry for her a lot, but now I think less and less sorry and more “get off your arse and make some money!” Her dependency on me and her parents is a turn off at 22 years old and it’s causing us to argue a lot. I don’t mind if she lives with them, but with a next to nothing income it’s a pain in the ass. She babysits her baby sister, which isn’t her responsibility, and makes little money from it, she has money saved for a runaround car but won’t buy one as she wants a nearly new car with Bluetooth and all that bollocks. She won’t get a job at any clothes shop or restaurant, but I tell her she’s not in a position to be picky. You start from the bottom and make your way up. I’ve given her a equilibrium; she’s working full time by Valentine’s Day or I’m done. She’s had 3 and a half years to make this work and there’s been next to no willingness to change.
Now I’m starting to think about what I’m missing out on if I were with a hard working person; I could have been to many places I wanted to go already. It’s really putting me down, but I love her. What should I do?
26-30, M
