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She came back what should I do?

To make a long story short over ten years ago I met the woman that I thought was perfect for me and to be honest in a lot of ways I still think she is. We went on a couple of dates and it was amazing I thought that we would be together for life.

One day she goes missing and I start to hunt for her found out she met someone else I still to this day don't know all the details around it but they were together and I was heartbroken anyway she ended up leaving that guy for me when he became abusive and things were good for us for a while but the stress of her not working and me paying everything coupled with a former friends mischief broke our relationship.

She was in a crisis and I found out that the dude she was with was actually her husband and after that I stopped dealing with her totally but now she's back and she's legit single. When she was with me she was true to me for the most part except for online flirting but I hate to say it that expected nowadays...

She says that she misses me wants to really try to make it work wants to work towards home and family and I want that too and I want her too and I think I can forgive her but we got to work through the past. I can't say what she did was cheating cause I knew the guy existed and I knew he was abusive towards her. What should I do to try to make it work or move on?

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Adstar · 56-60, M

Man sorry to inform you that you are in her mind the reserve guy.. The guy she will use until she finds the kind of guys she is really attracted to..

She is responsible for the type of guys she likes and see likes abusive guys because they provide her with drama.. It's only when things get out of hand that she aborts and comes back to use you for a while till she finds another bad boy..

End it mate.. Stop being used as a shoulder to cry on.. Woman like that will destroy you inside.. best to leave her to the thugs and players she has a fatal attraction to..

bushi2020 · 36-40, M

@Adstar See I understand your points and all that stuff that you said I thought of that myself but what I think back on is that we were young I was a bit of a player too back then. When they say once a cheater always a cheater I think that also has to do with age and life style but a 35 I am done with those days. You ever have a woman play you? You forgive her?

Adstar · 56-60, M

@bushi2020 Forgiving someone is WAY different to continuing in a relationship with them.. I can forgive toxic people and move on.. Not holding any grudges and hard feelings for them as i move on with my life. But i do not go back for more abuse from that person..

The only woman i would ever be with in a life time relationship is a woman who chooses me as her first choice man.. You NEVER want to be some worn out woman's settling choice.. The guy she never really ever wanted to be with long term but the guy she selects because she cannot get with the guys she wants to be with.. Woman like that will always think they could have got someone better then you and will always look down upon you as someone they where forced to end up with..

In another 6 - 8 years you can look forward to a divorce case and seeing your kids ripped away from you and losing most of your property..

But anyway your the guy on the spot.. So it's your decision.. Hope you have good fortune no matter how you chose to go..

bushi2020 · 36-40, M

@Adstar How do I get over her then?

Adstar · 56-60, M

@bushi2020 Time.. Only time can heal that pain.. You fell in love with the wrong woman.. And yeah it happened to me too.. Happens to a lot of guys so don't feel like a fool.. Love makes us overlook the warning signs, Signs we don't want to see.

bushi2020 · 36-40, M

@Adstar I did move on I found another woman that I was absolutely crazy about but something was missing from that relationship... The only reason I am even considering it is that me and her did all this stuff more than ten years ago and I fo feel something for her the time makes me want to forgive that and the loneliness. I am 35 years old I do desire family but maybe its not for me.