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Whyyyyyyy do I still yearn for my mom's love and acceptance?

When she truly hate my guts and doesn't give a crap about me
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Because it is natural and normal to keep yearning for what we didn't get when we were babies, toddlers, children or teenagers.
When this unresolved craving carries through into adult life, it becomes a problem that interferes with forming healthy adult friendships with the same gender, and can become a problem when one becomes a parent.

It can, however, be overcome through therapy. If therapy is too expensive there are self-help books.