I Am Having Family Problems
It’s been a long time since I wrote on this site. The situation between my younger sibling and I has not changed. He still is not taking responsibility for what he has did to my son. And the fact that it was him who nearly cost him his life.
He did manage however to brave my wrath by coming down to see us with his own children. – Whom I love dearly. It was a shame that they were caught in the cross fire.
My other brother had the audacity to arrange a ‘get together,’ at his house to celebrate the other brother’s children coming of age. I was deliberately invited. My step-father can drive but he decided not to on this occasion. As I asked if he could pick us up on the way. He said he was getting a cab. So, that’s when I decided not to go.
Did I do the right thing? I asked my son if he was going he said yes. I decided not to attend. So, I said to my husband ‘I don’t want our son going there alone, he needs back up just in case.”
So, was I wrong in my summation of what happened to my son and that his suicide attempt was because of someone kicking the crap out of him and landing him in hospital, so much, so he thought it would be better for this world not to have him in it?
No, I don’t think I was wrong in thinking it was the brother next one down from me. Why? Because my son made and excuse and did not go himself. Which made me feel guilty as my poor husband had to face them alone.
Apparently, he had an ok time, but it was over in a couple of hours. He also in his own gentle way put his brother in law down. As he explained to him that we as parents take care of our children we in no way expect them to contribute to our lifestyle. As my husband’s work is less on the salary scale of his brother in law. You can imagine the slight. Beautifully executed in front of his children albeit innocently done. I was and am so proud of him.
The only downside to this was that my mother sided with my brother instead of me and her grandchild. And as a result, my son will not visit his grandparents anymore, despite now living in the same town as them. He feels used and betrayed. But maybe now it explains why I heard my step-dad asking my son not to say anything to me and to keep the secret.
Always knew why I called him Uriah Heep. That and his pretending to be “Ever so humble,”
As for my sibling. I desperately wanted to call the police on the matter and tell them what I found out. Because despite being my brother he should be in jail and so should that new wife of his. One reason is for beating up and forcing my son to sign the endowment papers, so he could embezzle our endowment fund which was meant for our son. And second for beating the child so severely that he ended up in hospital. And had a nervous breakdown to boot with suicidal tendencies.
Worst to know that he was the brother I trusted with the most valuable person in my life my son. As being ill and having cancer I did not know if I would survive the operation and asked him to look after my son if I did not. Thinking that the man I married was a good man but not worldly wise in finance etc.
It was only because of the thought of putting my son through reliving what my brother had done to him and the fact that my mother said, “let it lie,” that I did not go to the police and have him arrested. Even now writing this. I feel I should do it. But I won’t.
Instead, I did not contact my mother for 2 weeks. Making out I was too busy. I am angry because we are and were the victims and she has sided with the perpetrator and expects me to as I put it subjugate myself to him and his family. After what they did to my son.
Quite honestly if I see that woman (my brother’s wife) and she says anything to me. I would immediately explode and see how my brother will react having me beat the crap out of someone he cherishes and for her complicit behaviour in forging my signature and pretending she was me, so that she could obtain the money from the endowment policy. I had on my house which I held in trust for my son. As it had to be a female who attended and got the cheque. The endowment policy was in my name.
As for my youngest sibling once again, I would like to ask him. What happened to my son when he attended the wedding in Poland?
As it was a week before I heard from my son when he went out there. And I had instructed him to represent us as a family, as my husband had just had heart surgery and I had the operation for cancer so could not attend. I never got the truth from that query.
The good thing that came out of it is I have another brother (who like me has cancer), he is older than I. I was grateful to as he did not turn up for the gathering either. It was his way of showing his disapproval of the above events and at least he can understood how I felt.
But as for my mother, the tables have turned between her us. I love her still, but I no longer need her or seek her approval. After the choice she has made, I find that I can no longer trust her. If my mother sides with the man and his wife that nearly cost me my sons life. I feel she is not worth the effort.
As a result of having my eyes opened. I am beginning to see what my Aunts and Uncles kept saying about my m other, and I failed to see.
My mother is and was jealous of their successes. Alive or dead, as anytime I praise the efforts of an aunt or uncle and their life achievements she immediately put them down saying they weren’t so much. And immediately comments, “I on the other hand have done so and so.” So, I realize now that she needs the adoration and admiration of us more that we need it of her.
Which is sad because, surely her achievements are mirrored in the success we make of ourselves her children?
Enough said.
He did manage however to brave my wrath by coming down to see us with his own children. – Whom I love dearly. It was a shame that they were caught in the cross fire.
My other brother had the audacity to arrange a ‘get together,’ at his house to celebrate the other brother’s children coming of age. I was deliberately invited. My step-father can drive but he decided not to on this occasion. As I asked if he could pick us up on the way. He said he was getting a cab. So, that’s when I decided not to go.
Did I do the right thing? I asked my son if he was going he said yes. I decided not to attend. So, I said to my husband ‘I don’t want our son going there alone, he needs back up just in case.”
So, was I wrong in my summation of what happened to my son and that his suicide attempt was because of someone kicking the crap out of him and landing him in hospital, so much, so he thought it would be better for this world not to have him in it?
No, I don’t think I was wrong in thinking it was the brother next one down from me. Why? Because my son made and excuse and did not go himself. Which made me feel guilty as my poor husband had to face them alone.
Apparently, he had an ok time, but it was over in a couple of hours. He also in his own gentle way put his brother in law down. As he explained to him that we as parents take care of our children we in no way expect them to contribute to our lifestyle. As my husband’s work is less on the salary scale of his brother in law. You can imagine the slight. Beautifully executed in front of his children albeit innocently done. I was and am so proud of him.
The only downside to this was that my mother sided with my brother instead of me and her grandchild. And as a result, my son will not visit his grandparents anymore, despite now living in the same town as them. He feels used and betrayed. But maybe now it explains why I heard my step-dad asking my son not to say anything to me and to keep the secret.
Always knew why I called him Uriah Heep. That and his pretending to be “Ever so humble,”
As for my sibling. I desperately wanted to call the police on the matter and tell them what I found out. Because despite being my brother he should be in jail and so should that new wife of his. One reason is for beating up and forcing my son to sign the endowment papers, so he could embezzle our endowment fund which was meant for our son. And second for beating the child so severely that he ended up in hospital. And had a nervous breakdown to boot with suicidal tendencies.
Worst to know that he was the brother I trusted with the most valuable person in my life my son. As being ill and having cancer I did not know if I would survive the operation and asked him to look after my son if I did not. Thinking that the man I married was a good man but not worldly wise in finance etc.
It was only because of the thought of putting my son through reliving what my brother had done to him and the fact that my mother said, “let it lie,” that I did not go to the police and have him arrested. Even now writing this. I feel I should do it. But I won’t.
Instead, I did not contact my mother for 2 weeks. Making out I was too busy. I am angry because we are and were the victims and she has sided with the perpetrator and expects me to as I put it subjugate myself to him and his family. After what they did to my son.
Quite honestly if I see that woman (my brother’s wife) and she says anything to me. I would immediately explode and see how my brother will react having me beat the crap out of someone he cherishes and for her complicit behaviour in forging my signature and pretending she was me, so that she could obtain the money from the endowment policy. I had on my house which I held in trust for my son. As it had to be a female who attended and got the cheque. The endowment policy was in my name.
As for my youngest sibling once again, I would like to ask him. What happened to my son when he attended the wedding in Poland?
As it was a week before I heard from my son when he went out there. And I had instructed him to represent us as a family, as my husband had just had heart surgery and I had the operation for cancer so could not attend. I never got the truth from that query.
The good thing that came out of it is I have another brother (who like me has cancer), he is older than I. I was grateful to as he did not turn up for the gathering either. It was his way of showing his disapproval of the above events and at least he can understood how I felt.
But as for my mother, the tables have turned between her us. I love her still, but I no longer need her or seek her approval. After the choice she has made, I find that I can no longer trust her. If my mother sides with the man and his wife that nearly cost me my sons life. I feel she is not worth the effort.
As a result of having my eyes opened. I am beginning to see what my Aunts and Uncles kept saying about my m other, and I failed to see.
My mother is and was jealous of their successes. Alive or dead, as anytime I praise the efforts of an aunt or uncle and their life achievements she immediately put them down saying they weren’t so much. And immediately comments, “I on the other hand have done so and so.” So, I realize now that she needs the adoration and admiration of us more that we need it of her.
Which is sad because, surely her achievements are mirrored in the success we make of ourselves her children?
Enough said.
