I Am Smart
I cannot help but think about it when people tell me I am smart and recognize it how much trouble my intelligence has gotten me into. I am smart but it's not always been a gift at all. I'll give you some examples.
when I was younger and in 7th grade my mother used to drag me to jehovah's witness meetings and I went reluctantly again with her to one that she went to and I saw sister Garcia there and I had an enemy in school with the last name Garcia and I casually asked her curiously if there was any relation and her grandmother was a polite and gentle woman whom I would have considered a friend and I never had the decency to tell her the truth about her namesake because it as so awful.
I made the unwise mistake that intelligent people do when they piece something like that together of telling Cara I found out her Granny was a Witness and she was so mortified she swore me to secrecy but never trusted me to keep the secret assumed I would use it against her and began to basically escalate her persecution of me but she was dismayed when she realized I held her in such low regard that I never cared about any of her petty insults so instead of going after me directly she took to the locker rooms and basically made fun of and felt my best friend who happened to be female up and sexually harassed her to the point where lori was quiet scarred by the experience.
my enemies growing up were not merely the type who were harassers they were sometimes machivalian sexually abusive as well as obsessive and that was Cara and one of the things that shocks me is in spite of the fact that filthy truth is that women have hurt me far more profoundly than I could ever dream of hurting them both in the emotional and physical sense. Besides for cara another girl kicked me in the stomach at one point and I have suffered the worst forms of abuse always at the hands of a woman for some bizarre reason it only enflamed my feminist passions you see I don't know Cara's backstory I never cared to get to know it but know sarahs who kicked me in the stomach quiet well we were friends for years and then one day her crazy over worked mother told us all that she had witnessed Bill her then husband sexually feeling his daughters up and there was some anger toward me because I was there when it happened and because I didn't witness what they said happened and didn't chorus in agreement with them there was resentment towards me but we remained friends only that was when it started to go down hill. And after that point Jean Got involved with another man who had These four male children who were brats and had been taught marshal arts to a huge extent but were still little arrogant shitheads who used violence to intimidate me to a huge extent and drive me as far away from her as I could get and they started to teach her marshal arts. Jean had bad taste in men and I was left with the wreckage of her disasterous choices in men ultimately and it was one of the worst aspects of my 7th grade life.
And Anyways the reason I became so dedicated to feminism is probably that because when I think about what could have caused it why I would have resented the patriarchy to the extent that I do and why I would believe it was a thing why I would swallow toxic masculinity as a theory whole and sympathize with what feminist had to say about it was those brat children and what they taught sarah and while I do realize that women suffer the most direct consequences from dating these abusive assholes I became a Reluctant critic of Choice feminism on the basis that SOME choices made by SOME women Hurt ALL women who are EVOLVED and hurt EVERYONE And SOCIETY and that If I have one criticism of women who date these abusive bad boys it's that the choices you make end up effecting not just you they effect all the guys who are into you first it started with men who wanted you but would have treated you better would have been gentle with you that you felt were too weak and unable to protect you and then it spiraled into having kids by the asshole and those kids learned through their fathers that you had to be "Tough" or VIOLENT to survive in a dangerous word and they proceeded to bully other children and gain social dominance through intimidation.
The cycle of abuse persist and it ends up ricocheting down to the point where it hurts other women it hurts men too even innocent children end up scarred because of your preference for a "Bad boy" because they are "Stronger" and "Strong" = capable of protecting. Instead of Choosing the smarter ones because SMARTER = HIGHER income = More capable of providing for the children.
and that's all on women like Jean, if she had of just refused that man sarah never would have been exposed to his kids and never would have kicked me in the stomach and god only knows how it was for the girls who molested my bestie.
when I was younger and in 7th grade my mother used to drag me to jehovah's witness meetings and I went reluctantly again with her to one that she went to and I saw sister Garcia there and I had an enemy in school with the last name Garcia and I casually asked her curiously if there was any relation and her grandmother was a polite and gentle woman whom I would have considered a friend and I never had the decency to tell her the truth about her namesake because it as so awful.
I made the unwise mistake that intelligent people do when they piece something like that together of telling Cara I found out her Granny was a Witness and she was so mortified she swore me to secrecy but never trusted me to keep the secret assumed I would use it against her and began to basically escalate her persecution of me but she was dismayed when she realized I held her in such low regard that I never cared about any of her petty insults so instead of going after me directly she took to the locker rooms and basically made fun of and felt my best friend who happened to be female up and sexually harassed her to the point where lori was quiet scarred by the experience.
my enemies growing up were not merely the type who were harassers they were sometimes machivalian sexually abusive as well as obsessive and that was Cara and one of the things that shocks me is in spite of the fact that filthy truth is that women have hurt me far more profoundly than I could ever dream of hurting them both in the emotional and physical sense. Besides for cara another girl kicked me in the stomach at one point and I have suffered the worst forms of abuse always at the hands of a woman for some bizarre reason it only enflamed my feminist passions you see I don't know Cara's backstory I never cared to get to know it but know sarahs who kicked me in the stomach quiet well we were friends for years and then one day her crazy over worked mother told us all that she had witnessed Bill her then husband sexually feeling his daughters up and there was some anger toward me because I was there when it happened and because I didn't witness what they said happened and didn't chorus in agreement with them there was resentment towards me but we remained friends only that was when it started to go down hill. And after that point Jean Got involved with another man who had These four male children who were brats and had been taught marshal arts to a huge extent but were still little arrogant shitheads who used violence to intimidate me to a huge extent and drive me as far away from her as I could get and they started to teach her marshal arts. Jean had bad taste in men and I was left with the wreckage of her disasterous choices in men ultimately and it was one of the worst aspects of my 7th grade life.
And Anyways the reason I became so dedicated to feminism is probably that because when I think about what could have caused it why I would have resented the patriarchy to the extent that I do and why I would believe it was a thing why I would swallow toxic masculinity as a theory whole and sympathize with what feminist had to say about it was those brat children and what they taught sarah and while I do realize that women suffer the most direct consequences from dating these abusive assholes I became a Reluctant critic of Choice feminism on the basis that SOME choices made by SOME women Hurt ALL women who are EVOLVED and hurt EVERYONE And SOCIETY and that If I have one criticism of women who date these abusive bad boys it's that the choices you make end up effecting not just you they effect all the guys who are into you first it started with men who wanted you but would have treated you better would have been gentle with you that you felt were too weak and unable to protect you and then it spiraled into having kids by the asshole and those kids learned through their fathers that you had to be "Tough" or VIOLENT to survive in a dangerous word and they proceeded to bully other children and gain social dominance through intimidation.
The cycle of abuse persist and it ends up ricocheting down to the point where it hurts other women it hurts men too even innocent children end up scarred because of your preference for a "Bad boy" because they are "Stronger" and "Strong" = capable of protecting. Instead of Choosing the smarter ones because SMARTER = HIGHER income = More capable of providing for the children.
and that's all on women like Jean, if she had of just refused that man sarah never would have been exposed to his kids and never would have kicked me in the stomach and god only knows how it was for the girls who molested my bestie.
