I Have Done Dmt
About an hour ago, I came home from my gfs house, I’m house sitting my sisters place for the next few weeks, I’ve been riddled with fear and doubt lately and also struggling to refrain from going back into a depressive state of late and fear has a lot to do with it. This just now has been trip number 12 throughout my life, I was a bit hesitant to do it because I haven’t had a sitter while I went on the DMT journey, two other occasions I have done so without a sitter and one of those times was with Ayahuasca and those times I was in a trip that what could be best described as hell.
But I felt the fear and did it anyway, I was laying on the bed and I had some DMT vape juice which you smoke through an e-cig. I took a very huge toke and just held it into my lungs, as I was holding it in trying not to exhale straight away, I was just seeing the white walls in the room fading to complete white, couldn’t see the walls or door anymore, as I started slowly exhaling everything around me was just fading to white, I couldn’t feel my body anymore except for my breath as I exhaled, as I exhaled my eyes just slowly shut as I felt like I was sinking below, and after feeling the full exhale of the smoke and my eyes completely shut, I felt like I was just firing into the air like a rocket, instead of seeing geometric patterns, I was in a tunnel with colourful light beams zooming past me, as I was zooming, I went towards this bright light in the centre and was pushed straight through it I couldn’t feel my physical self but felt my emotions like they were physical feelings or the sense of touch, I was feeling everything I feared in my life just fade away from me, I felt safe, with nothing left to fear anymore. As I was pushed through the white cloudy light, I didn’t feel like I was zooming anymore but just floating in thin air it was like I was back where I started where the room faded to white nothingness as I was on my way into the trip, I started seeing bright purple,green and pink colours and weird patterns that were shaped into spiritual eneties. There was one sitting on me and it was that same feminine like figure with dragonfly like wings that appeared from a previous trip earlier this year, sitting over me like it was reassuring that I’m safe now and there’s nothing left to fear and I could finally let everything go, everything just seemed so beautiful and I felt more free than I had ever been, then those spirit figures just faded into geometric moving colourful patterns and started moving rapidly around me as the white mist slowly started getting dark again, then I felt like I was sinking again, the white mist started becoming distant forming back into the tunnel again and I was zooming again feeling like I was going the opposite direction, I felt like I was falling down that tunnel, the colourful lights were zooming past but going the other way towards the white mist rather than away from it. Then I felt a huge shockwave as o started to feel my physical body again and I was instantly awake again and back on earth.
One thing about this trip though, rather than feeling bright and cleansed, I broke down crying and feeling very emotional coming out of this trip, maybe where I was in that trip it was just too much of a beautiful place where there was no fear, and now I’m back here and still feel fear in my mind.
This song relates very well to this experience, and how wonderful would it be if there was nothing left to fear anymore.[youtube=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i3vu2EMrC7A]
But I felt the fear and did it anyway, I was laying on the bed and I had some DMT vape juice which you smoke through an e-cig. I took a very huge toke and just held it into my lungs, as I was holding it in trying not to exhale straight away, I was just seeing the white walls in the room fading to complete white, couldn’t see the walls or door anymore, as I started slowly exhaling everything around me was just fading to white, I couldn’t feel my body anymore except for my breath as I exhaled, as I exhaled my eyes just slowly shut as I felt like I was sinking below, and after feeling the full exhale of the smoke and my eyes completely shut, I felt like I was just firing into the air like a rocket, instead of seeing geometric patterns, I was in a tunnel with colourful light beams zooming past me, as I was zooming, I went towards this bright light in the centre and was pushed straight through it I couldn’t feel my physical self but felt my emotions like they were physical feelings or the sense of touch, I was feeling everything I feared in my life just fade away from me, I felt safe, with nothing left to fear anymore. As I was pushed through the white cloudy light, I didn’t feel like I was zooming anymore but just floating in thin air it was like I was back where I started where the room faded to white nothingness as I was on my way into the trip, I started seeing bright purple,green and pink colours and weird patterns that were shaped into spiritual eneties. There was one sitting on me and it was that same feminine like figure with dragonfly like wings that appeared from a previous trip earlier this year, sitting over me like it was reassuring that I’m safe now and there’s nothing left to fear and I could finally let everything go, everything just seemed so beautiful and I felt more free than I had ever been, then those spirit figures just faded into geometric moving colourful patterns and started moving rapidly around me as the white mist slowly started getting dark again, then I felt like I was sinking again, the white mist started becoming distant forming back into the tunnel again and I was zooming again feeling like I was going the opposite direction, I felt like I was falling down that tunnel, the colourful lights were zooming past but going the other way towards the white mist rather than away from it. Then I felt a huge shockwave as o started to feel my physical body again and I was instantly awake again and back on earth.
One thing about this trip though, rather than feeling bright and cleansed, I broke down crying and feeling very emotional coming out of this trip, maybe where I was in that trip it was just too much of a beautiful place where there was no fear, and now I’m back here and still feel fear in my mind.
This song relates very well to this experience, and how wonderful would it be if there was nothing left to fear anymore.[youtube=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i3vu2EMrC7A]
