I Love Mad Men

Theres a story about a group of ad men,sitting around a table ,"brainstorming" about how to sell Honda automobiles to an American public
that liked American cars..how to make the pitch? Now in a brainstorming session,you just go into "stream of consciousness" mode and say anything that crosses your mind..so one bright mad man chirps up,"From the same folks that brought you Pearl Harbor!"
I don't know what happened to the guy,but it did make a nice title for a book.True story.
But I digress from my topic,abbreviations and how they can save you time and heartache.I once read a short story entitled "Ertnog",which satirized the concept of "condensed books" and magazine articles..in one of the concluding paragraphs he has all the written material of the day shortened to one acronym,ertnog. Catchy,but not very illuminating.
I think the age of condensed books has passed ,but American culture,born out of democratic ideas ,embraces informality,especially in speech.The internet,being closely attuned to trends,is an amped up microcosm of the rest of society,reflects this in its kik,lol and yolo..
{who has not heard of the unfortunate lad named Rollo..Bolo,who on a sunny field playing polo,decided he'd tweet yolo,and fell under some hooves below-o,hell-o!}*
But even more formal institutions like medicine have been reduced to short ,pithy representations of serious and complex diseases.
You can just see that group of admen having their first go at selling that now popular cure for impotence,Viagra.
Sure there was bound to be a groundswell of interest,but how to address the whole impotence issue,especially when one of the
"celebrity spokesman" was a major American statesman,Bob Dole...
You can imagine the reaction in the room when some genius said,"Why not call it Erectile Disfunction?" The silence as they say must have been deafening...this was if anything even worse.Until he added,We can call it E.D...ED!
A marketing triumph was born..no longer did you have to worry about explaining that your hard drive was a floppy disc..you had ED!
Now every disorder has an acronym....I was talking to a friend ,a woman who keeps up with the trends in acronyms,and I blithely stated,"why I think I have Seasonal Affective Disorder-SAD,a descriptive acronym as I'm ever going to hear. She informed me that I couldn't have SAD,because it was now Social Anxiety Disorder! What about my SAD? Not sure..
But I think I'd rather have Blooms Syndrome,than its shortened version BS.I simply don't want to give people the OPENING by declaring,"I have BS!" Similarly ,I'll tell people I haveGroup A Streptococcal disease..I mean the censure and isolation of having GAS disease(flatulence on the hoof?) is motivation enough to just enunciate the whole disease.
Now the point..if you like to write more light hearted stories from time to time,as I do,the villagers may start coming at up the hill,perhaps in the mistaken notion that you are making fun of the diseases,instead of the silly acronyms,or have issues with some blunder you've made in elucidating your point..but can not the same acronyms that got me into trouble {I have HIM,Hoof in Mouth Syndrome} help extricate the writer? Thats what this group was founded for..a disclaiming acronym,or the quest for one.
And so with the confidence of an Einstein(and perhaps the sensitivity of Godzilla) I can put forth my candidate:Not That Theres Anything Wrong With That(!)
If you missed the Seinfeld episode I am referencing,Jerry is mistakenly outed as being gay,by a NY college reporter,an allegation he denies..always with that qualifying phrase..Now if you're like the ad man who said,"From the Folks Who Gave You Pearl Harbor",you can simply insert,NTTAWWT!
Thats..horrible,a good acronym must be short,easily recognizable,"tight"..not like something your pet gerbil created ,running over the keyboard! I mean ROFLMAO,it's not..how to fix,what to do? N****** looks like its obscene,N-Plus,a toothpaste maybe,but not a good solution...
So far the best I've come up with is NOTHTAWT...NotTHatTheres AnythingWrong with That!...I simply dropped a redundand W,and used some "following letters "NOTHTAWT!..I'm open to better suggestions but its at least as good as ERTNOG!