I Will Never Wear a Seatbelt
Long Story . . . I’ve always refused to wear a seatbelt and it's caused me unbearable grief. I know most people would think I’m being stupid/reckless/petty etc., but it’s something I’ve always felt really strongly—even as a child, I hated those things and dreaded having to get in the car. I fully understand the risks, but I’ve been a libertarian/voluntaryist all my life and there’s nothing I feel more strongly about than self-ownership and individual freedom. For me, seatbelt laws are socialism at its most insidious, and potential ‘costs to society’ shouldn’t be sufficient reason for the government to interfere with people’s lives and bodily autonomy.
What’s really upsetting is that this has made my life so awkward. Being in my early 40s now (it was 30 when I first posted this) has brought home how much this law has wrecked my life. I still live at home, partly for financial reasons but more because I'm terrified of being alone. Yet, sadly, I've never had, and never will have, a partner or friends because everyone not only obeys but enforces this wretched law. Likewise, because I can’t drive (I find the idea of wearing a seatbelt unbearable, so I can't do a driving test), my ‘life’ consists of avoiding lifts with anyone other than my ageing parents. They used to let me ride in the back without wearing one, but I found that so embarrassing when there was no one in the front passenger seat (plus it's the law in the back in the UK anyway, so it's not like there was any real difference). But once I finally opened up to them about how I felt, they let me sit in the front: I'll always remember the first time I sat in the front passenger seat without a seatbelt—I felt so incredibly calm, as though I'd been injected with a sedative.
My parents now let me sit in the front without a seatbelt (we have to fasten it before I sit down because of that stupid ringing, which isn't just a reminder but goes on incessantly and can't be switched off, which makes me livid; again, apparently our lives aren't our own) because they understand how badly it upsets me. Still, much as I love my parents, this is hardly the life I’d have wished for—friendships and relationships are an alien concept to me because I don't understand how a friend/partner could make someone do something that caused them unbearable stress and panic, regardless of the law or safety. If the situation were reversed, I'd side with my friend or partner and want them to feel at ease; I wouldn't just say, 'I don't care how you feel; do as you're told—it's the law.'
Sometimes I’ll watch older movies and see everyone riding around without wearing seatbelts and I find it heartbreaking to think that there was a time when I could have just hopped in the car with my family, gone out with my boyfriend or friends etc. As it is, I'm an ageing only child with barely any family (and, inevitably, that's going to get worse over the upcoming years), I can’t go out and about with other people and I can't be in a relationship because I can’t be with someone who’s going to boss me around like a schoolteacher and try to force me to obey a law that I don’t agree with.
And it just gets worse: when I was at high school in the 90s, I'd see the vast majority of teens get in the back of the car without wearing seatbelts—and this was after it was made the law (in 1991) and with their parents driving plus hard-hitting ads on TV. Loads of adults ignored it too back in the 90s and 00s. Yet over the last, say, 15 years, the number of both adults and teens/young people buckling up in the back seems to have markedly increased. Given that it was made the law decades ago, I don't get why people started complying so long after the fact. (Unlike the front seat law, which, ironically, was passed the year I was born—1983—so before my time, but I know that usage skyrocketed overnight.) And, as though that's not bad enough, it was made compulsory to wear seatbelts in coaches in 2005. I remember loving coach trips as a kid as it was a chance to travel without being pressured to wear a seatbelt, but that's now relegated to nostalgia as well. It's especially upsetting because, while I'm not big on exotic travel, I've always loved day trips, short breaks and holidays here in the UK, e.g., a coach trip to Blackpool.
It’s so sad how people used to be laidback and now everyone’s so bossy and controlling, policing both their own and other people’s behaviour. That’s what really gets to me—despite the fact that I’d find being bullied by the police really upsetting, if it was up to me I’d disregard the law and pay a fine if necessary; unfortunately, I get the impression that pretty much all drivers insist on forcing their passengers to 'buckle up'—a mindset that I consider to be bullying. So, ultimately, I’m stuck in this impossible situation where all that matters is 'safety', ‘society’ and 'the law' and where everyone has to conform whether they like it or not—or else reconcile themselves to an extremely awkward life of utter loneliness.
What’s really upsetting is that this has made my life so awkward. Being in my early 40s now (it was 30 when I first posted this) has brought home how much this law has wrecked my life. I still live at home, partly for financial reasons but more because I'm terrified of being alone. Yet, sadly, I've never had, and never will have, a partner or friends because everyone not only obeys but enforces this wretched law. Likewise, because I can’t drive (I find the idea of wearing a seatbelt unbearable, so I can't do a driving test), my ‘life’ consists of avoiding lifts with anyone other than my ageing parents. They used to let me ride in the back without wearing one, but I found that so embarrassing when there was no one in the front passenger seat (plus it's the law in the back in the UK anyway, so it's not like there was any real difference). But once I finally opened up to them about how I felt, they let me sit in the front: I'll always remember the first time I sat in the front passenger seat without a seatbelt—I felt so incredibly calm, as though I'd been injected with a sedative.
My parents now let me sit in the front without a seatbelt (we have to fasten it before I sit down because of that stupid ringing, which isn't just a reminder but goes on incessantly and can't be switched off, which makes me livid; again, apparently our lives aren't our own) because they understand how badly it upsets me. Still, much as I love my parents, this is hardly the life I’d have wished for—friendships and relationships are an alien concept to me because I don't understand how a friend/partner could make someone do something that caused them unbearable stress and panic, regardless of the law or safety. If the situation were reversed, I'd side with my friend or partner and want them to feel at ease; I wouldn't just say, 'I don't care how you feel; do as you're told—it's the law.'
Sometimes I’ll watch older movies and see everyone riding around without wearing seatbelts and I find it heartbreaking to think that there was a time when I could have just hopped in the car with my family, gone out with my boyfriend or friends etc. As it is, I'm an ageing only child with barely any family (and, inevitably, that's going to get worse over the upcoming years), I can’t go out and about with other people and I can't be in a relationship because I can’t be with someone who’s going to boss me around like a schoolteacher and try to force me to obey a law that I don’t agree with.
And it just gets worse: when I was at high school in the 90s, I'd see the vast majority of teens get in the back of the car without wearing seatbelts—and this was after it was made the law (in 1991) and with their parents driving plus hard-hitting ads on TV. Loads of adults ignored it too back in the 90s and 00s. Yet over the last, say, 15 years, the number of both adults and teens/young people buckling up in the back seems to have markedly increased. Given that it was made the law decades ago, I don't get why people started complying so long after the fact. (Unlike the front seat law, which, ironically, was passed the year I was born—1983—so before my time, but I know that usage skyrocketed overnight.) And, as though that's not bad enough, it was made compulsory to wear seatbelts in coaches in 2005. I remember loving coach trips as a kid as it was a chance to travel without being pressured to wear a seatbelt, but that's now relegated to nostalgia as well. It's especially upsetting because, while I'm not big on exotic travel, I've always loved day trips, short breaks and holidays here in the UK, e.g., a coach trip to Blackpool.
It’s so sad how people used to be laidback and now everyone’s so bossy and controlling, policing both their own and other people’s behaviour. That’s what really gets to me—despite the fact that I’d find being bullied by the police really upsetting, if it was up to me I’d disregard the law and pay a fine if necessary; unfortunately, I get the impression that pretty much all drivers insist on forcing their passengers to 'buckle up'—a mindset that I consider to be bullying. So, ultimately, I’m stuck in this impossible situation where all that matters is 'safety', ‘society’ and 'the law' and where everyone has to conform whether they like it or not—or else reconcile themselves to an extremely awkward life of utter loneliness.
41-45, F
