I Have Something I Just Have To Share

I signed into an old email just now. It was the only thing I left of me for an ex of mine. I changed everything after her. We ended things over five years ago and there were emails from just a few months ago still begging me to say something. I haven't checked this in over three years. I don't know why I have this effect on people. It scares me how much everyone believes it except for myself. A part of me wants to say something but a bigger part thinks I need to let her go through this process and me saying anything would just restart it. I don't know what about me can make such an impression and I don't think i'm an especially great person, so sometimes I wonder if there's just something very wrong with me.