I Want to Belong Somewhere

The biggest issue in my life right now is that i don't think I'm truly close to anyone. I've always been an introvert but I've had a few friends. As I'm growing older I'm realising that in most social situations, either i don't like other people i interact with or i feel inadequate to interact with the ones i do like. I need so much time and space to be comfortable around people that it's paralyzing. Evertime I'm in a group setting, I'm amazed how easily people connect to each other and become a part of each other's story. I on the other hand find it so unnatural to start talking to people for no apparent reason except a genuine interest in them. I think the problem might be that I'm a really judgemental person at my core, not just for others but for my own self as well. I judge other's too much on little things like the way they speak or dress up. And in the process of doing so, i evaluate myself on the same parameters. As a result, i spend too much time in my head and remain self conscious instead of actually acting in the world.

whowasthatmaskedman · 70-79, M

You are not alone in being alone, if that makes sense. And like so many of us you seem to start from the position that there is something wrong with you. Let me assure you there isnt. You are simply an individual.
For a moment, forget about fitting the group and "belonging" and look at your options in life. Work out your own path and focus on walking it as you would like. At the very least it will be less frustrating. And it is extremely likely that before long you will look over your shoulder and there will be a few people travelling the path with you. Relax and enjoy. You are simply not buying the western consumerist model of happiness. Take comfort from the fact that you will never be a Kardashian.