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I Want to Belong Somewhere

The biggest issue in my life right now is that i don't think I'm truly close to anyone. I've always been an introvert but I've had a few friends. As I'm growing older I'm realising that in most social situations, either i don't like other people i interact with or i feel inadequate to interact with the ones i do like. I need so much time and space to be comfortable around people that it's paralyzing. Evertime I'm in a group setting, I'm amazed how easily people connect to each other and become a part of each other's story. I on the other hand find it so unnatural to start talking to people for no apparent reason except a genuine interest in them. I think the problem might be that I'm a really judgemental person at my core, not just for others but for my own self as well. I judge other's too much on little things like the way they speak or dress up. And in the process of doing so, i evaluate myself on the same parameters. As a result, i spend too much time in my head and remain self conscious instead of actually acting in the world.
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Adaydreambeliever · 56-60, F
This probably won't come as a surprise.. but so many people suffer with those things these days.. I think everyone is a lot more introspective.. and of course that has repercussions as you mention.

I know this is little comfort but things can change. I know I didn't really become at ease with myself and who I am until I was in my later 30s ... for some it could be sooner or later.. but you can grow and learn and things can change... we sometimes become more laid back and less judgemental of ourselves and others as we age.