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I Have Been Single For Way Too Long

I hated being single for so long, just wanting some kind of affection and knowing someone outside of my parents actually cares about my well being and it's been a challenge finding my self worth and value while being single but you know what? I realized something while being single for so many years now. It's made me realize that the only person who will have my back is myself especially noticing everyone my age who were in relationships before all didn't last. This generation doesn't know how to maintain a relationship. I just sit back and watch people get into these fake relationships because they see it on their favorite netflix show or just simply for physical reasons and look what happens. I'm not here to pass judgement. All I'm saying is I used to literally feel worthless and shatter my own self confidence by telling myself not being in a relationship means nobody wants me. Even if that were true, I have to want me as corny as that sounds. I realized if I love myself and I mean truly love myself why would I put myself through these things? Why would I make myself feel completely miserable just because I'm single. I won't lie, it can get pretty lonely but at the same time I've been able to find some clarity, self awareness and understanding the real meaning of self love and fulfillment. It's a very liberating feeling. Maybe I'll find someone down the road but I'm not searching anymore. Even if I do get into a relationship I'm not convinced it will last anyways. Women and men these days are too immature and cheat way too often, I see it all the time. A lot of people gain confidence through others but when you gain confidence through your own means that's when it's real and not a facade or a front for other people's perception.

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IBHappy · F

Nice job! You have come to many realizations and found wisdom beyond your young years. Thou are alive to figure out out without the trial and error of failure. Truly someone who has worked through some of your own emotional baggage. True happiness definitely comes from within. You can't ever be happy or please someone else if you keep seeking validation and approval outside of yourself. When you are comfortable in your own skin, you open the door to many possibilities.

justicexoxoxo · 26-30, M

@IBHappy Thank you. It's never an easy thing to do. I'm not perfect at it now nor will I ever be but when you understand that and accept that, that's when everything becomes visible. Learning to love yourself is one of the hardest things a person can achieve because we lie to ourselves all the time saying we do when our actions say a totally different thing. It's an old cliche thing to say but everyone should know by now that the grass is not always greener on the other side.

IBHappy · F

Very true. Our psyche works very hard to protect us with various lies, limiting beliefs, and defense mechanisms. we become our own worst rnemy mired in denial and stuck victim roke, blaming everyone and everything else before looking at ourselves as the common denkminator of our problems.

justicexoxoxo · 26-30, M

@IBHappy That is why when you see people who have been in a serious relationship and their relationship falls apart they break down mentally. This is because they never truly loved themselves before going into the relationship and the chips are falling where they may as the blanket of truth uncovers itself. A person who loves themselves can be sad or heart broken after a break up but they won't break down mentally. This era is not a place for breeding healthy minds. We live in troubling times, where we base our relationship advice off of instagram couples. Everything has become a facade and a big playground for miserable people. Social media has allowed everyone to mask who they really are and promoting vanity not sanity.

IBHappy · F

Indeed, you nailed it! You are definitely an old soul. You have alot of insight and developed wisdom into the truth of the situations of many and the insecurities that lurk there.

justicexoxoxo · 26-30, M

@IBHappy Well I appreciate you saying that. Yes it's very true I've turned my insecurities into a learning experience for myself and the perception around me. I still have tough days but knowing what I know it's easier to swallow that pill. :)