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I Have Been Single For Way Too Long

I hated being single for so long, just wanting some kind of affection and knowing someone outside of my parents actually cares about my well being and it's been a challenge finding my self worth and value while being single but you know what? I realized something while being single for so many years now. It's made me realize that the only person who will have my back is myself especially noticing everyone my age who were in relationships before all didn't last. This generation doesn't know how to maintain a relationship. I just sit back and watch people get into these fake relationships because they see it on their favorite netflix show or just simply for physical reasons and look what happens. I'm not here to pass judgement. All I'm saying is I used to literally feel worthless and shatter my own self confidence by telling myself not being in a relationship means nobody wants me. Even if that were true, I have to want me as corny as that sounds. I realized if I love myself and I mean truly love myself why would I put myself through these things? Why would I make myself feel completely miserable just because I'm single. I won't lie, it can get pretty lonely but at the same time I've been able to find some clarity, self awareness and understanding the real meaning of self love and fulfillment. It's a very liberating feeling. Maybe I'll find someone down the road but I'm not searching anymore. Even if I do get into a relationship I'm not convinced it will last anyways. Women and men these days are too immature and cheat way too often, I see it all the time. A lot of people gain confidence through others but when you gain confidence through your own means that's when it's real and not a facade or a front for other people's perception.

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SW-User

This post resonates with me so much, especially because our generation is doomed when it comes to relationships esp for those not into hookups as it’s socially acceptable to get on Tinder and just whore around, might as well be single and contented till someone worth it comes along

justicexoxoxo · 26-30, M

@SW-User I had a feeling a lot of people would be able to relate. I see more and more people realizing this. Unfortunately there are a lot more people who are just part of this wave of being in a relationship just be in one or to not feel lonely. Yeah I've used tinder once and I had zero success, like many other dating sites. Dating sites shatter self confidence, especially for men because most of them get zero responses, and even women looking for something genuine since guys just want to hook up most of the time. I think once you find something you love to do, keep healthy, and just stay as positive as you can in time you will find self fulfillment and joy rather then just fill a void that will rear its ugly head at some point anyway. Whether we are single or in a relationship we all have to face our inner demons. It all comes out full circle eventually. I'd rather face my demons while single though so my mind isn't altered by being in a relationship and convincing myself i'm happy even if I wasn't. When you're single things become way more clear.

SW-User

@justicexoxoxo Exactly, you stated everything so a reply isn’t needed, but watch this, these men have no shame
[youtube=https://youtu.be/ZYeWBX8yycs]

IBHappy · F

@justicexoxoxo Well stated!

justicexoxoxo · 26-30, M

@SW-User Well for dating sites, I won't say women are saints either but yes men can perpetuate the stigma for good men out there. This is why I even put men and women in the beginning because men and women are the fall of men and women and aren't exclusive to one or the other. I'm never biased for men or women, we all have our issues and faults. I'm not a feminist nor anti "mgtow" feminist. I am an individualist who just takes facts and interpret them with no biased feelings for men or women. I don't like watching videos like that to be honest going against men or women, partially because the comments are so toxic. The battle between the sexes amongst today's generation is quite honestly embarrassing. This is actually why relationships fail. We have lost respect for each other and now only use each other for our biological purpose, for men having high sexual urges and wants to screw anything moving and women wanting to breed the best possible baby for the next generation so standards are higher then normal. We are our own faults, it's sad we are the reason we are in this state.

SW-User

@justicexoxoxo That’s true, I didn’t imply that men are the ones ones in the wrong here; but from what I’ve seen it’s mostly men who behave in an uncouth manner on such sites, even on SW, with their D pics habit or just being really creepy and desperate

justicexoxoxo · 26-30, M

@SW-User Yes I understood you weren't implying that. It's just we have to be mindful that this is a generational issue not gender. Even with what you just said, men being uncouth and not well mannered, it's certainly not what anyone should deal with without feeling what you feel but it comes back to my point that I have certain experiences as well and both of our experiences together should not transition into having anger towards the opposite sex. I used to be very angry and bitter towards women and I'm sure you've felt the same with all of your reasoning it is justified. We just have to focus on ourselves because in the end, men, women we all share one common similarity though we are polar opposites most of the time, we seek validation from one another. We used to understand each other but now we are at war with each other, we use each other, we talk bad about each other. We don't come together to weed out the ones that make all of us look bad. The images in our heads from our experiences may end up sabotaging any relationship we may get into. This is why self love is so important because at the end of the day, none of those men or women who have gave us terrible experiences dictate our own happiness.