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I Just Realized Something

The kids are growing up so fast.
One day he's still a little boy, relying on his parents for anything. You close your eyes for a second, and he's suddenly a teenager, with shoe size greater than yours, living in his own world, and seemingly depending on his friends more than on you.
These are the days when I regret not having more kids.

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Loretta78 · 46-50, F

I think it depends on the circumstances if it seems to you that the kids are growing fast or not.
When you can share your work with the other parent so probably it seems to you that the time is running fast.

For my own part I just can say this: Although I was married I was from day 1 already a single parent. For 18 years I was not for one day away from my son ( no father, no grandparents - nobody who would have helped just for one day with education). For me this time seemed endless.
Next month my son will move out - you might call me egocentric now but this means a little bit freedom for me.

And although I love my son I never in my life would like to have more children.

I know, I don't sound like a loving mother but I don't want to lie about my true feelings.

But of course I also can understand your view of the things.

As I said it before: It depends on the circumstances.

har7070 · 51-55, M

@Loretta78, I'm by no means judging you!
I've read your other posts, your life story is a very difficult and challenging one.
The efforts you put forward as a single mother are more than heroic, and your achievement is remarkable!

But...
You may feel tremendous relief now, when you see your son becomes independent and lives his own life.
However, with this freedom will also come void. You may not see it coming, and you will not feel it right away, but when you realize it, it may be painful.
I remember when our older son moved out of the house, his room remained empty for a year. The door was always open, but I couldn't make myself to enter and find an empty room. This may sound totally irrational, this is how it was with me.

I don't want to sound like a prophet of doom, I hope your experience will be a happier one.
I was just pouring out the realization that struck me :-)

Loretta78 · 46-50, F

@har7070 Yes, I understand it and I know EXACTLY what you mean.

Potentially I am going to feel that void - I can't say it yet. I will see. But I know what you mean.

har7070 · 51-55, M

@Loretta78, is he moving far from you?
This may matter a lot; in our case the distance was 1000 miles, and visits weren't easy to arrange.

Loretta78 · 46-50, F

@har7070 Oh my!! That's a great distance!! I am sorry for you. 😓

Well, my son's distance will change because he is going to the army. For the next 3 months he won't live THAT far from me; after that he will move on the other end of Germany = very far, and later probably he has to go at least for some months in a foreign country. 😕

har7070 · 51-55, M

@Loretta78, oh, I guess military life is tough...
Thank goodness German military doesn't do combat deployments.
Best of luck to you and your son :-)

Loretta78 · 46-50, F

@har7070 Thanks. :-)