I Think Its Okay To Not Be Okay

Yesterday, I was thinking what a season it has been. By season I mean that we go through different seasons in life as my pastor once said. In this season that I have been having which has been difficult I think its teaching me a lot. Yesterday, I started to reflect on the book I am reading. One of the things that kept popping in my head was that "God entrusts with things that he thinks we will go and make a difference something like that" Like I keep thinking God has entrust me with things that I am not doing anything with, like for example, time in this season. He has given me plenty of time this season but I all I have done it watch movies, tv,be lazy. He has entrust me with other things like my past and what I have I learned from it? Essentially, I keep asking father God for things that I want but hes like "what did you do what the other things I gave you,?" "Did you use these things wisely?" My answer is no I did not. Yesterday, though I am barely figuring out that father God is just wanting to make do what I have atm and be willing to show him that I can handle more. Fastforward this confusion that I have in life is simply for the moment, I need to trust in father God and the plans that he has for me but at the same time I need to do my part in life. I am starting to hear father God in the season, its not that he has not never been there, its just I never wanted to listen to him. Oh yea, side note I had dream yesterday that my eye colors changed to beautiful blue eyes. In the dream bible it means observation, judgements, and consciousness.In addition, it means the way I see some aspect of based on my personality, and symbolize positive outlook on a situation or good intentions. Also, it means a reflection of positive thinking patterns, or good choices, andn that essentially the way I think is helpful to areas in my life. Anyways Sarah hun you got this love.