I Have To Stay Strong

I can't do this anymore I'm going to seriously everytime I go out I get hurt by somebody something I'm down and I want to die and I don't get it you know like every time I come home it's like my mom gets mad at me because I'm upset but in reality most days it's just because I have to come back to her and she's so annoying. It just pisses me off and then she gets mad and calls all my friends everybody that I know and then calls them and then they don't talk to me they get mad at me they were excused letters that they can't be my friends because they don't want to get hurt it hurts so bad like what about me likd hello. it sucks like I don't have time to have a pity party if I could I would cause I could really use a break down right now but I've got so much crap to do I can't I am so I got so much stuff to do that I'm stressed out. I can't get out of bed in the morning and I feel I do nothing right like nothing at all and then she gets mad about every single thing that I do just to correct it make sure its right and when I'm doing something good she says it's not good enough and I'm like really like what is wrong with you I can't stand you I can't stand any of my friends anymore because all they do is talk about me and make me feel like crap crap and it's all because ng to see him when I put on the litt hurts me whatsoever but I do have feelings Pp and I don't I don't show my feelings because every time I do some how to get used against me so I pushed him way way down or known one can see them and I put on this happiest person that is s persons face that is so not real and I put it on there cuz everytime I put on my true feelings they always get hurt and deep down inside I'm really sorry won't be pushing for a friend that would I shouldn't listen to not hurt my feelings like most people do my own mother you know I do have feelings are too I am I know w I know what I feel and I know how to do with it but all in all I just need a break down sort of and I don't think I'm ever going to get time for it and i really dont know anymore