I Am Trying Not to Be Sad

The father of my unborn child, and soon-to-be ex-boyfriend after 7 years together, seems to no longer love me or want to be with me. I believe he plans to leave me soon (as he's been waiting around for me to leave him but I'm not) and recently told me that when I move back home in a few months for support with baby, that we can no longer be a couple. Telling me that didn't seem to sadden him at all. Furthermore, I believe this is even more of a reality than originally anticipated as he's now "come out" to his parents, grandmother and brother. I'm really proud of him as this was such a brave and difficult thing to do. I'm glad he can feel relieved and not have to hide who he is. However, I'm also sad. I'm sad because he used to say that he wasn't going to "come out" unless he met a guy he really liked...so perhaps this has happened, or he's ready to move on and further explore that side of him. I say "side" because he's bisexual, not gay. Oftentimes he labels himself as gay but other times he labels himself bisexual, and comes out as bisexual. I'm happy that he's happy and that most of his family is accepting and all of them are still loving. I'm just grieving the fact that it seems inevitable I'm going to lose him as a partner...as my person. He will always be my friend and like family to me. Actually, he wont be "like" family, he truly will be "family" to me, since we're having a child together. I just wish we could be in love again and stay together as a couple, I really miss him and us. We basically grew up together, in a relationship. He's been the center of my world for so long. Additionally, I love his personality and feel that it would be difficult to meet a straight man with many of his characteristics. I don't want to date a female, I can't date a gay guy, and I'm now afraid to date another bi guy after how much I've been cheated on. But if he can't stay faithful and if he wants to move on...then I have to let him go </3.

persistentone22 · M

Well, you know, the bisexuality was pretty clear to me about your boyfriend from as far back as the EP days. And I talked about that in PM, but now that he is public about it I can talk here.

Part of what has kept you in this relationship is that you have an unusual sexual balance with him that will not be easy to replace. You want a non-traditional relationship, and you are yourself very exploratory. You want a guy who has strongly self-identified as female but who emotionally only connects to women.

I know exactly the dating profile you need to write to get a man who has the right balance you want. Hint: it's not a profile that asks for a guy who is in touch with his feminine side. You are going to need to be pretty direct, but not necessarily explicit. When you are in a better place, and the relationship is over, then you can ask me and I'll show you how to write it.