I Am a Mess

I fainted today, first time in my life. Everything went black and *plop*. Probably cz I haven't ate more than a bite in about a week. I just manage to stuff my mouth, just to maintain some strength, thank god for liquid food.

Now, I have been through a worse patch, I had my bf of three years break up with me a week after asking me to get married. And then I got to know he had been cheating on me for months. I felt bad cried, did a lot of drama, (never stopped eating) but I snapped right out of it, thanks to two friends here on EP.

I made a lot of friends here, one of them, I got too attached. I never realized, or was probably in denial. Now when he is getting hitched, I am a mess, I threw all kinds of tantrums, so much so, the person blocked me. I know this is stupid, its my fault I got attached, I know he has no such feelings. In fact, while I am here, almost on verge of getting hospitalized, I know he wouldnt probably have even spared me a thought. And that thought there is eating me away. How can I after all I have gone through trust somebody like this? And worse, why cant I snap out of it. I have talked to my friends, told my parents (talking about a guy to parents was never on my list). and it has been a week, all I think is how stupid I am and cant snap out of it still.