I am grateful for perspective. Not long ago, everything felt so black and white. "I'm terrible." "I'm great." "He loves me." "He hates me." "I can't do anything." "I'm right on track." Obviously, these thoughts put me through a lot of stress and used up a lot of energy that I could've been focusing somewhere else.
As I continue to get older, I see that time is flexible, and some things that I used to think were urgent, I've learned are typically better taken slow. I have learned that I have more time than I had originally thought if I take time to plan out the things I'd like to do and use the time wisely.
I am grateful that I've learned that the more present I am in life, the more is given back to me. The more present I am, the better I am able to appreciate. And the more present I am, the more I am able to experience. I'm thankful for this new lesson.
Sometimes the world and the experiences that we go through hardens us. We create a thick exterior that shields us from our past hurts. And this is a valid action, but it also keeps the good out too. It becomes harder to love, harder to open up to new experiences, and harder to share ourselves with others. And we stick to this because it's safer. Sure, we lose out on connection, but at least we're not getting hurt.
With this shield comes the loss of new experiences, excuses, and clinging to the shell. Slowly, we can begin to lose ourselves and our passions. We play it safe and compromise the things that once made us feel alive because it's more secure.
I suppose that's a reason why I liked this guy. He saw through my guarded exterior, and with a smile, he reached in and touched the fiery part of my soul that I had almost fallen beneath the cracks. He saw my passions and he fed them. He asked questions and the embers began to glow a spirited red, reminding me of what was.
I think it's so funny that he said he felt alive with me when I really felt like the one who was being revived.
We become impenetrable because it's easier, but we become vulnerable, and expose ourselves because it's the only way to truly live.
I am grateful for him, and the abundance of lessons that he opened my eyes to in our brief time together.